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Worst popstars ever

Worst popstars everBy David Jenkins

15/10/2015Games

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Some popstars are good. Some popstars are bad. And some popstars are so bad they’re good! We’ve compiled a list of 20 popstars who are guaranteed to make you want to stuff cotton in your ears – mainly to avoid how darn catchy their hits are... This is a test.

 

 

 

Peter Andre

Peter Andre's Mysterious Girl is a real earworm.

Peter Andre's Mysterious Girl is a real earworm.

Peter Andre is a lovely guy, as we can see from his many appearances on daytime TV. His music, however, isn’t quite as lovely – but it sure is catchy! Especially Mysterious Girl. That one’s a real earworm. 

Milli Vanilli 

Milli Vanilli, they hadn't actually sung a single word on any of their records.

Milli Vanilli, they hadn't actually sung a single word on any of their records.

Artists in the truest sense (mime artists, that is), Milli Vanilli enjoyed a prolonged spell in the media spotlight, picking up numerous high-profile awards before it became apparent that they hadn’t actually sung a single word on any of their records. Oops.

Stefan Dennis 

Stephan Dennis, tried to follow the footsteps of Kylie.

Stephan Dennis, tried to follow the footsteps of Kylie.

Fresh from a stint on Neighbours, Stefan Dennis attempted to follow in the footsteps of Kylie Minogue by releasing his own single. Don’t It Make You Feel Good might have got into the Top 40 – but only because it was so bad we had to buy it just to be certain it existed. 

Lee Ryan 

Lee Ryan has put his foot in his mouth more times than we can count.

Lee Ryan has put his foot in his mouth more times than we can count.

Lee Ryan has put his foot in his mouth more times than we can count. After making controversial remarks about 9/11 in a BBC interview, Ryan went on to be fined for drunk driving and arrested for assaulting a taxi driver. 

Lisa Scott-Lee

Lisa Scott-Lee, architect of her own downfall in 2005.

Lisa Scott-Lee, architect of her own downfall in 2005.

The former Steps chanteuse was the architect of her own downfall in 2005 when she threatened to quit the industry if her single Electric didn’t hit the MTV Top 10. It didn’t. She subsequently picked up awards for Worst British Female Solo Artist, Worst Pop Act and Worst British Single. Don’t worry Lisa, an award is still an award!

Paris Hilton 

Paris Hilton, musical output hasn't been exactly stellar.

Paris Hilton's musical output hasn't been exactly stellar.

Is there a more obvious inclusion in this list? The musical output of the Hilton heiress hasn’t been exactly stellar, the kind of vanity recordings that give proper popstars a bad name. Mercifully, she seems to have put the singing career on hold. But hey, at least her dog is cute!

Chesney Hawkes 

Chesney Hawkes, dangerously catchy hit single.

Chesney Hawkes, dangerously catchy hit single.

“I am the one and only,” sang Chesney Hawkes in 1991, and we haven’t been able to get it out of our heads since. We’ve only included him here because of how dangerously catchy his big hit was…

Vanilla Ice 

Vanilla Ice performed his hit single with Jedward.

Vanilla Ice performed his hit single with Jedward.

Who doesn’t love Vanilla Ice’s catchy hit Ice Ice Baby? It’s a perfect example of a hit that’s so bad it goes all the way around to becoming good. He recently performed it live on stage with Jedward. Enough said.

Posh Spice 

Posh Spice ran off with David Beckham.

Posh Spice ran off with David Beckham.

Posh Spice might have been at the forefront of Girl Power in the 90s, but we’ll never forgive her for running off with David Beckham. She’s recently become an internationally renowned fashion designer. 

Geri Halliwell 

Geri Halliwell released a slew of ever-poorer material.

Geri Halliwell released a slew of ever-poorer material.

In the Spice Girls, she was a sassy Union Jack-clad cheerleader for Girl Power. Go Geri! After the Spice Girls, however, she was a standalone example of how not to embark on a solo career, releasing a slew of ever-poorer material. No Geri!

Daphne & Celeste 

Daphne & Celeste's U.G.L.Y. single was ammunition for school bullies.

Daphne & Celeste's U.G.L.Y. single was ammunition for school bullies.

Daphne & Celeste are primarily remembered for their single U.G.L.Y., a song that was eagerly adopted as ammunition by school bullies up and down the land. Not great news for kids growing up in the early 2000s. 

Bruce Willis 

Bruce Willis, misguided 1987 album.

Bruce Willis, misguided 1987 album.

We know, we were surprised when Bruce made an album too! Bruce’s misguided 1987 album, The Return of Bruno, was a poor collection of R’n’B covers, and is today commonly regarded as one of the worst records of all time. He should definitely stick to fighting terrorists and jumping out of exploding planes. It’s much easier. 

Aaron Carter 

Aaron Carter, piggy-backing a sibling's success.

Aaron Carter, piggy-backing a sibling's success.

A classic example of someone (or someone’s cash-hungry advisors) piggy-backing a sibling’s success to make a fast buck. The younger brother of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, Aaron was thrust into the industry aged nine. His songs weren’t great, but we can’t help but feel sorry for the poor little tyke. 

Steve Brookstein

Steve Brookstein, positively bursting with averageness.

Steve Brookstein, positively bursting with averageness.

The first winner of the X Factor back in 2004, Steve Brookstein was positively bursting with averageness. Too normal to be anything other than a short-term curiosity, he was promptly dropped by his label and faded into the bargain bins of time.

PJ & Duncan 

Let's Get Ready to Rhumble was so bad it was hilarious.

Let's Get Ready to Rhumble was so bad it was hilarious.

Ant and Dec’s mercifully short-lived pop career – as Byker Grove characters PJ & Duncan – was a thing of beautiful ridiculousness. Their defining moment, Let’s Get Ready to Rhumble, was so bad it was hilarious. 

Craig from Big Brother

Big Brother winner's single wasn't exactly a Christmas classic.

Big Brother winner's single wasn't exactly a Christmas classic.

A bricklayer who found national fame by winning the first series of Big Brother, Craig Phillips went on to release the single At This Time of Year in Christmas 2000. It was for charity, so hats off to Craig, but it wasn’t exactly a Christmas classic.

Mr Blobby 

Mr Blobby terrorised the radio waves in Christmas 1993.

Mr Blobby terrorised the radio waves in Christmas 1993.

Mr Blobby terrorised the radio waves in Christmas 1993 with his House Party style single. We wish we could say it was so bad it became good, but we can’t. It was just bad! So bad! 

Anita Dobson 

Anita Dobson, married to Bryan May.

Anita Dobson, married to Bryan May.

Better known as Angie from EastEnders, Anita Dobson’s hit song Anyone Can Fall In Love, was produced by her identically haired husband Brian May. Well if we were married to Brian May, we’d probably release a single too!

Paul Gascoigne 

Paul Gascoigne, footballers should stick to football.

Paul Gascoigne, footballers should stick to football.

The ultimate proof, if any was needed, that footballers should stick to football. In the aftermath of the 1990 World Cup, Gazza sang Lindisfarne’s Fog On The Tyne. If we were being extremely generous we’d say that it definitely wasn’t the best thing in the world… 

LaToya Jackson 

La Toya Jackson, a surname alone does not make a pop star.

La Toya Jackson, a surname alone does not make a pop star.

Unfortunately, a surname alone does not make a pop star. While Michael, Janet and other assorted family members carved out their own careers, LaToya went down as the Jackson that never really nailed it. Astonishingly, she has ten studio albums to her name. We’ll give you a prize if you can name one! (Well, maybe not really. You do have Google).

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