Who?: Professional flamboyance purveyor, panto dame extraordinaire, and… wait a second, surely Biggins has done CBB before? Ah no, our mistake: he’s merely done every OTHER celebrity reality show on TV.
Personality: Eternally delighted by everything. Seriously. The man is so merry, he makes Santa Claus look like Sad Sack from the Raggy Dolls.
Most Likely To: Be the mother hen of the house. Probably literally, if he’s brought his panto gear.
Fascinating factoid: If he was prime minister, Biggins would “ban cyclists” apparently. And you thought he was all sweetness and light.
Who?: An ex-Apprentice contestant who now makes a living mouthing off about things. A less apocalyptic Katie Hopkins, in other words.
Personality: Loud, gobby, in your face, opinionated. Hey, those are the exact words she used to describe herself.
Most Likely To: Spread gossip, pronounce judgements, and – if her intro video was any indication – constantly show off her impressive guns.
Fascinating factoid: She recently made headlines for saying she hated sex. But now she apparently likes sex. Good to know.
Who?: A Broadway singer turned “YouTube sensation” and host of live-streaming TV shows, he’s a one-man mash-up of millennial fabulousness.
Personality: A supernova of glitter and good cheer, who is secretly “thinking of ways to cut your throat”. How nice.
Most Likely To: Try to become everyone’s BFF, before abruptly descending into screaming rages about people not doing the washing up and/or talking about him behind his back.
Fascinating factoid: He’s the sibling of Ariana Grande, who is also famous apparently.
Who?: The obligatory ex-soap star. In this case, Fatboy from EastEnders.
Personality: Try-hard charming, but kind of sweet too – like a cocky Sixth Former who flirts with all his friends’ mums.
Most Likely To: Impart his philosophies of life, before leaning in for a snog.
Fascinating factoid: He was axed from ‘Enders after the most minor sex scandal imaginable. We won’t go into details here because frankly it’s bound to come up repeatedly.
Who?: An actual, real-life, honest-to-goodness gangster’s moll, and star of reality show Mob Wives.
Personality: Sweary. Other than that… actually quite sweet-seeming, apart from the whole being-like-someone-from-The-Sopranos thing.
Most Likely To: Gather the housemates around her to tell terrifying anecdotes of people being “whacked” in New York, while everyone gasps and says “No way!” a lot.
Fascinating factoid: Her mobster father once disowned her after because of her involvement in Mob Wives. Just don’t call her a “rat” or she’ll go all Goodfellas on you.
Who?: Geordie Shore bombshell.
Personality: That of a Geordie Shore bombshell. You get the idea.
Most Likely To: Swan about being beautiful at people.
Fascinating factoid: She has “the best looking vagina in the whole of Newcastle”. Clearly someone’s been doing a highly questionable survey.
Who?: Radio talk show host with “controversial” opinions, set to be the resident villain.
Personality: A mutant hybrid of Nigel Farage and Chris Moyles.
Most Likely To: Deliberately horrify every other housemate with his political opinions, while smirking slyly into his wine.
Fascinating factoid: He once played a Dalek on Doctor Who. Not so uncool now, is he?
Who?: She rose to “fame” as part of a girl band created in a US reality show, and is largely made of lips.
Personality: In the standard Big Brother way, she was obnoxious in the intro video, but quite nice seeming in person.
Most Likely To: Err. Sit down a lot? Flirt? Occasionally sit on a different chair? Your guess is as good as ours.
Fascinating factoid: She was described as “narcissistic, self-centered, evil, and vicious” when she appeared on Celebrity Apprentice in the US. That’s presumably in comparison to Donald Trump, too.
Who?: Someone who was Ex On The Beach. By rights he should have been on this year’s regular “civilian” Big Brother, with all the other famous-on-Instagram types.
Personality: A massive gurning prat who literally believes the Earth is flat. We can only hope he’s actually trolling everyone, because if this person really exists then the end of the world is nigh.
Most Likely To: Talk about all the “birds” he’s kissed, and how the Earth is flat.
Fascinating factoid: Looking through the info we have, one fact stands out: he’s the worst man who’s ever lived.
Who?: Former X Factor wannabe who had a turbulent time during her stint in Simon Cowell’s thunderdome.
Personality: Erm, stubborn? By which we mean she’s clearly still determined to be an actual famous person, all these years after The X Factor.
Most Likely To: Talk about her singing career to anyone who’ll listen.
Fascinating factoid: She once toured with East 17. If that isn’t living the dream we don’t know what is.
Who?: Super-suave TOWIE star who carries himself like a man forever starring in a shampoo advert.
Personality: Posh lothario. Like a minor royal making the absolute most of his looks and status.
Most Likely To: Walk around with just a towel around his waist, all casual-like. It’s probably in his contract.
Fascinating factoid: He’s got a burgeoning career as a personal trainer.
Who?: The former Mr Anthea Turner, and tabloid villain.
Personality: Despite being presented as a kind of cackling love rat by the media, his current Big Brother incarnation is that of a rather pleasant, mature, thoughtful-seeming bloke.
Most Likely To: Be the daddy figure of the house. Until he tries to seduce someone, and then everyone will hate him again.
Fascinating factoid: He once had a boxing match with Ricky Gervais on telly, because sometimes these things just happen.
Who?: Someone who was once kicked out of The X Factor, and is now a shameless Kim Kardashian clone (klone?).
Personality: Pampered princess and jet-setting super-brat. Well, that’s the image she’s selling anyway.
Most Likely To: Make “frenemies” with the likes of Marnie and Aubrey. Something tells us this is a lady who has frenemies.
Fascinating factoid: Her celebrity crush is Barack Obama. We bet he’s well chuffed.
Who?: Also known by the less glamorous name of Colin, he’s the guy on Storage Hunters UK who says “BOOM!” every few seconds, much to everyone’s amusement/annoyance.
Personality: A born and bred “London geezer”, he’s like a perfect cross between Gregg Wallace and Timmy Mallett. Did we also mention he says “BOOM!” every few seconds?
Most Likely To: Make us want to go and have a lie down in a dark room.
Fascinating factoid: He once described himself as “like John Lennon, Mozart and Van Gogh” on Twitter. Which seems legit.
Who?: At last, a bona fide proper celebrity-type celebrity. (If you’re too young to remember, Sam Fox was an 80s pin-up turned pop star. Sheesh.)
Personality: Warm, friendly, professional, charming. All the good things.
Most Likely To: Sit out the big arguments and catfights, and probably spend most of her time having nice chats with Biggins while the kids have spats around them.
Fascinating factoid: She once sued her own father after accusing him of ripping her off.
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