Parks And Rec: Tom’s best ideas | Virgin Media
Parks And Rec: Tom’s best ideas

Parks And Rec: Tom’s best ideas

22/07/2016TV

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With everyone’s favourite local government officials set to return to our sets for a final season, what better time to reflect on the genius that is Pawnee’s very own serial-entrepreneur Tom Haverford?

This is a man whose business ideas are as surprising as they are enterprising – entersurprising, if you will – as well as usually pun-tastic, and often glitter-based. They’re also so darn good that they bear repeating. So here goes, Tom’s Top Twenty Outlandish Entersurprises in ascending order of blinging brilliance.

 

20. Toddler cologne

Because even tiny children need to learn self-respect.

Because even tiny children need to learn self-respect.

 

19. LASIK for fingernails

Meaning you’d only ever need to cut your fingernails once - providing Tom could get his well-manicured hands on "… a complicated laser I have no idea how to build.”

Meaning you’d only ever need to cut your fingernails once - providing Tom could get his well-manicured hands on "… a complicated laser I have no idea how to build.”

 

18. SnakeJuice 

SnakeJuice A high-end liqueur that kind of tastes like Kahlúa, is billed as “the Connoisseur’s Juice”, and contains just enough alcohol, sugar, coffee, and other junk to make Ron do this.

SnakeJuice A high-end liqueur that kind of tastes like Kahlúa, is billed as “the Connoisseur’s Juice”, and contains just enough alcohol, sugar, coffee, and other junk to make Ron do this.

 

17. Saltweens

A niche product that knows its target audience.

A niche product that knows its target audience.

 

16. Tom’s Bistro

It works when all the letters are in place.

It works when all the letters are in place.

 

15. Talking Tissues

They give you a little message to hype you up every time you pull one out of the box.

They give you a little message to hype you up every time you pull one out of the box.

 

14. A scented phone

With the clarification that it needs to “smell good”

With the clarification that it needs to “smell good”

 

13. Club-a-Dub-Dub  

Tell us you wouldn’t want to go to this.

Tell us you wouldn’t want to go to this.

 

12. White ear muffs for men 

A great new style choice.

A great new style choice.

 

11. A nightclub that’s hardly ever open

Exclusivity is EVERYTHING.

Exclusivity is EVERYTHING.

 

10. Homes constructed inside private jets

For investors who want to "buy a Gulfstream G4 jet… take the wheels off… turn the jet into an apartment building.”

For investors who want to "buy a Gulfstream G4 jet… take the wheels off… turn the jet into an apartment building.”

 

9. “A department store with a guest list”

Limiting sales is definitely a solid business model.

Limiting sales is definitely a solid business model.

 

8. Tommy Fresh, a cologne

We want to know exactly how he made this.

We want to know exactly how he made this.

 

7.  Snakehole Lounge

“Pawnee's sickest nightclub.”

“Pawnee's sickest nightclub.”

 

6. Rent-a-Swag

“High-end clothes rentals for teens, tweens, and everything in-betweens.”

“High-end clothes rentals for teens, tweens, and everything in-betweens.”

 

5. Contact lenses “that display text messages”

Surely it’s only a matter of time anyway?

Surely it’s only a matter of time anyway?

 

4. Yoghurt Platinum

Is there a better idea than alcoholic dairy products?

Is there a better idea than alcoholic dairy products?

 

3. Sparkle Suds

Yes - a washing detergent with glitter in it, to make everything look fabulous.

Yes - a washing detergent with glitter in it, to make everything look fabulous.

 

2. Disco Dairy: "Spread the Party"

Forget everything - butter with glitter in it surely wins?

Forget everything - butter with glitter in it surely wins?

 

1. Snail Mail

An “escargot delivery service”. Entirely impractical, but the novelty alone is genius.

An “escargot delivery service”. Entirely impractical, but the novelty alone is genius.

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