Her Maj has had a lot of strange, exotic foreigners over for dinner, but none as strange as the Big Friendly Giant, on a life-or-death diplomatic mission from Giant Country. After inviting him to a scrumdiddilyumptious breakfast set at his own, specially raised table – well, how else do you fit those spindly giant legs under the table? – they seal their deal to save Britain’s children with a generous toast of Frobscottle, which provokes a most unreal case of bright green whizzpops.
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Helen Mirren in The Queen (2006)
Everyone remembers where they were – and where The Queen was – on 31st August 1997. One of the defining moments of the British monarchy's history gets a canny-eyed reheat from the pen of Peter Morgan (and started him on the journey he’d finish with The Crown). Here Helen Mirren is winning all the awards as QEII, revealing her as less a candle in the wind and more an industrial-powered eternal flame that (with the right PR advice) can endure any weather.
Freya Wilson in The King’s Speech (2010)
“The children won't [leave the country] without me. I won't leave without the King. And the King will never leave.” The Queen Mother - then just plain old Queen Elizabeth - gave her daughter a great lesson in winning the public’s hearts during World War II, which also explains why the young Princesses, already displaying a preternatural sense of regal poise, have front row seats as the war takes its toll on her stammering pappy.
Jeannette Charles in The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad (1988)
How does an international terrorist group best embarrass America? Ask it to say ‘aluminium’ repeatedly? Let it pick two suitable candidates for President? No, you plot to assassinate the Queen on its soil – literally ‘taking her out’ to the ballgame, with the aid of hypnotised right-fielder Reggie Jackson – right under nose of its best and brightest law enforcement. But in their absence, Lt Frank Drebin and Police Squad are also on the case, who are so spectacularly incompetent that the terrorists might not even need to bother themselves.
Sara Gadon in Royal Night Out (2015)
When pater and rest of the Allies army finally stick the Bosh on their bums, it’s surely time for the young heiress to the throne to celebrate with the commoners and get involved in some hair-raising high jinks. Veeeeery loosely based on real life (the young Princesses mingled with the crowds to see how dad’s speech went down with the masses gathered outside) it’s unlikely that The Queen had an enlightening encounter with a handsome, AWOL airman. It’s probably not on Prince Phillip’s watchlist.
Jeanette Vane in Ali G Indahouse (2002)
One of the key bits of being Queen is dealing with Parliamentarians. Unfortunately for HRH, the latest incumbent for the seat of Staines is one Alistair Leslie Graham, installed as a puppet MP by a corrupt government. On being introduced by the Prime Minister, the leader of the West Staines Massiv takes kissing the royal hand into grubby new territory.
Jeannette Charles in National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985)
Everyone's dreamt of meeting The Queen, and Ellen Griswald is no exception. And in Ellen’s Britain-bound fantasies, the Queen’s been dreaming of meeting the Griswalds too, who liven up her dull parties with their mere presence. But Clark Griswold’s atomic sex appeal has a funny effect on Princess Di - and not for the first time apparently – though he gently rejects her in favour of his blushing wife. Come to think of it, doesn’t Prince Harry look a bit like Chevy Chase?
Neve Campbell in Churchill: The Hollywood Years (2004)
Sending up those Americanised versions of British history, this has Christian Slater’s rugged cigar-chomping US Marine Winston Churchill saving the planet from Hitler and the effete traitors in Buckingham Palace whilst romancing the headstrong ultra-sassy Princess Elizabeth. Trust us when we say, you’ve certainly never seen a Liz like this before.
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