Loved ones can mean the world to us, but they can also be the people we argue with the most. Learning to avoid arguments is a vital skill that can help us all enjoy a more harmonious life.

The first rule is to stop grievances from festering until they become explosive. This is harder than it sounds, since the subjects that matter most are often the hardest to talk about freely. Try to approach a subject in a managed fashion, rather than storing up anger until it spills over into a row.

When you are discussing a tricky subject with a loved one, listen carefully to what is being said and show that you understand their point, even if you don't agree with it. It is very hard for someone to start an argument with you when you are being entirely reasonable. Choose your words carefuly. Rather than saying "you always..." try, "you sometimes..." and then, as calmly as possible and with reason, explain your grievances doing your best to keep volume levels down. As soon as one starts shouting the other will want to shout louder and the conversation soon becomes irrational.

Learn to recognise your own flashpoints. We all have 'buttons' that those near to us know how to push; acknowledge this and you will find it much easier not to react badly. Never forget that, even with relatives, differences in character, generation and gender can give someone an entirely different, but equally valid, view on a subject.

Try to be honest with yourself - we can all be unreasonable, particularly when tired or stressed. If you can admit that, others are more likely to do the same when its their turn for being unreasonable.