For parents who suspect that their child is being bullied at school, it can be a stressful time. It may not always be easy to work out exactly what has been going on, which can in turn lead to confusion and doubt about what to do next. Taking a measured approach will help you assess your child's situation and ensure that you deal with it in the most effective way.

Reading the signs

Firstly, you will need to be able to read the signs that there are bullying issues. A key indication of bullying is when a child no longer wants to go to school, or to a particular lesson. They may not explain why or may try to deflect your attention, but at this stage most parents will know to be alert to a problem.

Naturally, many children are good at hiding their feelings, so other tell-tale signs to look out for include coming home with torn clothes, cuts or bruises, 'losing' possessions or money at school, suddenly becoming introverted or aggressive, a drop in the standard of their schoolwork and anxiety-related symptoms such as stomach ache or disturbed sleep.

The next step

If you have detected these possible signs of bullying, the next step is to talk gently to your child about it. Rather than expecting them to unburden the whole story straight away, ask small, manageable questions about their day at school. Find out what they did at playtime, who their current friends are, what they like or dislike about school - gradually build a picture of your child's day.

If your child is reluctant to talk, take a more direct approach by explaining that bullying is unacceptable and can be stopped. Give them every opportunity to open up and reassure them that 'telling' will not make matters worse, since this may be their greatest fear.

Taking action

Once you have established that there is a problem, it is vital to keep things in perspective. Angrily confronting a teacher will not help your child and it is worth remembering that teachers do not want bullying in their schools either.

Make an appointment to see the class teacher and explain the situation, keeping to the facts that your child has told you. Every school will have an anti-bullying policy. Ask them what theirs is and make sure that they are adhering to their promises.

Once the teacher has been made aware of the bullying, you will be able to work together to stop it, by taking various steps, dependant on the child's age and the school's culture. These may include the teacher talking to the other child, increased supervision of playtimes, building your child's circle of school friends, or 'buddying' the child up with a friendly older pupil.

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