Danny Dyer

Some movie types light up the screen with everything they do. Forget them for now: here's a look at the serial offenders who should be banged up in Tinseltown's equivalent of Guantanamo Bay.

Oh Danny Dyer. His range extends from annoyed cockney, in The Football Factory, to slightly more annoyed cockney in Outlaw. He knows all the swearwords, and is happy to use them, whether expressing his dislike of being mugged off or done up like a kipper. Dyer's name on a movie poster guarantees close-up, tracksuited violence, casual misogyny and faux-gangster posturing that makes Guy Ritchie look like a missing Kray.

In his defence: Compared to his TV show, Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men, his film performances seem like the work of a young Brando.

• Watch The Football Factory online now