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VM: They are rotten teeth aren't they. Here's a couple of new words I made up for you: "Complainia" - everyone whinges so much, we're in a society of complainers aren't we...
Peter Andre: Complainia! I love it.
VM: How about "Mundania"? Everything is so boring, we're sat in front of the computer 24/7 - a bit like "Insania", but without the cybersex...
Peter Andre: That is very good!
VM: You can use them if you want.
Peter Andre: What about... wait a second, I've got to think of one now that is really relevant...
VM: Cogs are turning...
Peter Andre: What about "Arsania"! The gay thing is cool, I mean y'know they can do what they want, but everyone is talking about arses! Guys talk about girls arses, girls talk about guys arses, and everyone seems to prefer the arse in front, male or female, and I just don't know what's going on!
VM: The arse is always greener on the other side...
Peter Andre: Ha ha, excellent! I like that, but greener? Browner maybe...
VM: Moving on. You are, I think, the nicest, most genuine man in pop that I've ever met. But is there anything that gets you really hopping mad?
Peter Andre: Yes, I hate arrogant people. Can't stand these people that are up their own arse so much. Arse!
VM: Back to the arse issue! Talking of which - what did you think of Chris Moyles when he was championing the re-release of Mysterious Girl?
Peter Andre: Well Chris was a legend because people said "Oh y'know, he's just doing things for himself". So what?! He helped me so much mate, if it wasn't for him, and if it wasn't for Ant and Dec taking the p*** out of Insania, this all wouldn't have happened. So more power to people who take the p*** I say. I reckon Chris is a legend. People said "Don't get too close to Chris, he's just doing it for his own benefit". What a stupid way to look at it. Imagine if I was like that: "Oh yeah, yeah, thanks for getting me to number one, but, er - you only did it for yourself". Imagine if I said that! Complainia!
VM: I heard you're going to be appearing in a future episode of Footballer's Wives...
Peter Andre: Filmed it two days ago. I'm not allowed to say too much, but what I can say is I have a bit of a conflict with Conran, the old boy. I'm playing me, but it's quite an interesting concept - it's not for long, but I thought it was pretty good.
VM: I was listening to Flava the other day, one of my favourites: "I can't bring myself to sleep, I got the keys to my jeep, there's nothing I ain't gonna do tonight". I bet there's some things you wouldn't do...
Peter Andre: Ah no no, you know what, honest to god, it was the tackiest words I've ever written to any song. More so than Mysterious Girl, because Mysterious Girl might be a bit cheesy but because it's reggae, it's feelgood, it's summery, it's ok. It's a bit like Club Tropicana, y'know, George Michael, having fun in the sun - but it's ok. But Flava... "Get the keys to my jeep", "I'm the Mac", "A new Mac with the flava of the year"?! And you know what's weird - I don't use those words, they're not part of my vocabulary - I must have thought I was hard back then. It's Montel Jordan's fault 'cos I was listening to This Is How We Do It, and I went "Yeah, my neighbourhood feels good". He was thinking Westside and I was thinking East Sussex.
VM: So you've mellowed out these days, you're not such a wild boy?
Peter Andre: Completely different.
VM: I've also got to ask - did you read Katie's autobiography, was there anything in it that upset you?
Peter Andre: No, I haven't read it. I just don't want to delve into her past, I'm not ready for it mate, I don't really want to know to be honest with you. It's probably not even as bad as I think... but then again. She doesn't want to know about my past, and I'm not ready to sit down and read intimate things about other people. I feel sorry for some of the guys who are mentioned though, I heard they got battered pretty hard.
VM: Old Dane Bowers eh...
Peter Andre: No more Great Dane.
VM: How would you describe your screaming sea of fans? They're obviously a bit of a mixed bunch.
Peter Andre: Yeah, pretty loyal I reckon. They're all sorts of ages. Just a whole family, which is really cool, y'know. And Dads - I mean I've never had dads come up and go: [thick cockney accent] "Alright mate, I'll take a photo mate, just gonna use it for the old missus, she really likes you, y'know what I mean?" I mean a guy telling me that his missus likes you, I've never had that before! I used to get them come up to me going: [gesticulates rudely] "F****** Andre, you f****** w*****!". And now they're like "Alright mate, the old missus right, last night we were having a bit of a conversation about you in the old sack and I thought I'll take a bit of a photo, take it home, I might get a bit lucky tonight". I'm shocked that they even say s*** like that, even if it's not true. I don't want to hear that! But it's kind of funny.
VM: That must make your skin crawl. Ok, one last question for you. Apart from Virgin.net, obviously, what's your favourite website?
Peter Andre: www.peterandre.com, thank you very much, buy the record online!
VM: It's been a pleasure to meet you Peter, thank you!
Peter Andre: Goodbye mate!