bad-english sport football Virgin Media
New government rules mean that players from outside the EU who want to play in Britain will have to pass a test in basic English.
However, some of our home-bred stars might struggle on this evidence...
The ever-clever Becks on parental support:
"My parents have been there for me... ever since I was about 7."
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The weekend's action in pics
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Have you heard any star howlers? Tell us here
London? Buenos Aires? Rome? We look at the most fiery rivalries in world football
