Travel log sickness: Had enough of holidaying celebs?

Paul Merton is the latest star who has been heading off on holiday for our entertainment as he returned to Channel 5 with a new series of his titular adventures.

The Have I Got News For You panellist sailed aboard a luxury Caribbean cruise liner, and whilst the familiar funny man might have baulked at the ‘all you can eat’ seafood buffets; it’s still the type of trip most of us would hard boil a kitten to get our grubby mitts on.

So what’s the appeal of TV travel-logs?

Merton isn’t the only star to have been given an envelope full of traveller’s cheques before packing off abroad this Autumn. Glance through the schedules and you can spot the likes of Joanna Lumley, who’s taken a break from backing Gurkhas to wolf down Baklava and gawp at Byzantine pillars on ITV1. Or Scottish comedian Billy Connolly, who’s just finished whizzing up and down America’s Route 66 spouting a cloud of incomprehensible consonants for the very same channel.

It’s clear channel bosses think that travel-logs make for good telly, but as the long Autumnal nights begin to draw in, do we really want to see celebrities gallivanting in the sunshine in the name of entertainment?

Travel torture

Sure part of the idiot box’s appeal is that it opens up a window to a world of exotic locales that most of us could only dream of seeing with our own square eyes. But “most of us” doesn’t include the famous faces often chosen to front these foreign forays. These are people with the type of bank balance that enables you to embark on any number of exotic excursions, so the idea of them being paid to sail the Nile in a luxury yacht, or explore Europe’s vineyards in a well-appointed Winnebago just seems to rub salt into our already gaping wounds.

It’s not all bad

That’s not to say travel telly doesn’t appeal to audiences. You need only look at the adventures of Michael Palin, who’s perhaps the best in show for this type of programme, to see why TV execs continue to flog this particular dead equine. Few can recreate Palin’s trademark self-deprecating style, a fish out of water schtick that saw the former Python throw himself headfirst into even the most bizarre situations. It’s a trait that endeared him to viewers and a generation of TV bosses who’ve been trying to replicate his success ever since.

In truth, it’s an act that few have been able to follow. There have been glimpses from modern pretenders, like that of posh pioneer Ben Fogle and even Merton himself, but perhaps the natural heir to Palin’s well-thumbed guidebook is Bruce Parry. The former army man gives the public exactly what they want from a modern travel programme. A familiar face making a fool of themselves in distinctly unfamiliar surroundings; and if they’re forced to eat bat droppings or gecko testicles along the way, well then that’s just an added extra.

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You can catch Paul Merton's Adventures every Wednesday at 9pm on Channel 5.