Preston and Chantelle
While the summer months of Big Brother usually enjoy their fair share of romantic moments, the celebrity outings have been disappointingly well-behaved. That’s not to say they’ve been entirely without their flirtations. Ahead of the fifth series, we look back on the celebrity house where love dare not speak its name.
Cold as ice
Back in 2001, the house opened its doors to its first celebrity guests for Comic Relief. However, it soon became apparent that romance was the last thing this bunch was thinking of. Eight days of incarceration saw frequent arguments between Vanessa Feltz and Chris Eubank, some mild flirting between Keith Duffy and Clare Sweeney and a memorable conversation on female masturbation. But sadly, no snogs.
End of the affair
Series two similarly didn’t see much action between the celebs with Melinda Messenger keeping her substantial charms under wraps. However, that’s not to say certain housemates weren’t concerned with affairs of the heart. Les Dennis entered in the midst of a very public separation from his wife, Amanda Holden. During his stay, he deteriorated by the day as he talked with the chickens, had bouts of crying and sung a worrying amount of show tunes. Shortly after he left, he revealed details of his divorce to the world.
Tub of lard
Once again, series three was a bit of a slow burner when it came to romantic moments. The show's producers were clearly eager to get things hot and steamy with the inclusion of a sauna and hot tub, but the sight of John McCririck in his underpants seemed to put everyone off the idea. While Caprice’s morning exercise classes got the nation’s pulses racing, they seemed to have little effect on the house hunks that included Jeremy Edwards, Kenzie and Bez. And very sensibly, none of them were brave enough to take a run at Amazonian-like Brigitte Nielsen.
Four play
So with three down and very little in the way of romance, all hopes were pinned on series four, as the show’s producers introduced legendary love-machine Dennis Rodman into the house. With his expert eye for the female form, dirty Den would spend days lounging around the pool appreciating the house’s bathing beauties which included Baywatch’s Traci Bingham, Jodie Marsh and Chantelle Houghton. But it was former FA secretary Faria Alam that finally caught the eye of the big guy. The couple enjoyed numerous hugs and bed-bound back rubs, but for all the groping and seductive talk, the big man failed to make a move.
Next up was Maggot who decided to try his luck with Baywatch beauty Traci. We all knew the skinny Welshman never stood a chance but he gave it a shot nonetheless. After a couple of intoxicated evenings, she seemed to warm to the thought of a bit of Welsh, and given another week maybe something might have happened. As it was the Maggot failed to make it into a man.
The golden oldies of the house enjoyed a brief flirtation with the idea of getting all up close and personal on telly. Casting aside his communist doctrine, Respect MP George Galloway appeared keen on Countess Rula Lenska. We saw him dress up in spandex and pretend to be a cat lapping milk out of her hand as she stroked his bushy moustache. It was quite toe-curling to watch and one can only assume that he was either keen on the lady or took his amateur dramatics a little too seriously. But still, they failed to get it together.
Thus, the romantic hopes of the nation were left to indie boy Preston and his "fake" celebrity Chantelle – and they duly delivered... once they'd left the house.
17 January 2007
