The X Factor: Where's it going wrong?

Blimey. We never thought we'd say it, but is The X Factor losing its way a bit? It looks like it could be panic stations for The Biggest Show on TV at the moment. Viewing figures from this weekend are in and only 11.4 million people watched Saturday's show. That might sound pretty healthy, but that's 700,000 down on last week and 2.3 million less than this time last year. That's a knife straight into the back of erstwhile judge and King of Everything, Simon Cowell. A knife twisted by – of all people – Sir Bruce Forsyth (metaphorically, of course), as the figures show that The X Factor's mortal enemy Strictly Come Dancing even beat them during the window where both shows were on at the same time. And by a full million.

So what's up with the talent show this year? We've had a think and wonder if any of these symptoms might help us work out what TV illness The X Factor's currently suffering from:

The Cowell Factor - Simon Jesus Cowell has been an ever-present at the judge's desk until this year. When it was announced that Gary Barlow would replace him as Head Judge, many people wondered if the show could survive without him. Without his droll put-downs, abrasive patter and plunging burnt sienna neckline. Well, maybe it can't.

The New Judges - Tulisa's indecisive group meddling and apparent drunken late nights are casting doubts over her suitability for the show. Gary's dodgy choices and faux-arrogance aren't overly convincing either. And Kelly's feverish meddling and arguments with contestants (according to the tabloids, she blew her top at Misha B for a seemingly minor transgression recently) don't seem to sit well with everyone. Not to mention her bizarre Americanisms (she screams 'Put it down!' more than a particularly sadistic vet might). Oh well, at least Louis is still Louis, eh? And you know it's bad when you're saying that...

Attention to detail – The acts are not being showcased well enough this year according to a livid overseas Cowell. Song choices, choreography and mentoring are not up to the usual high standards of previous series. Apparently Simon's already blasted producers for it and plans to harass the judges about it later this week. Ouch.

Styling - Lady Gaga's sometime stylist Laury Smith, the respected Natalya Nair and hairdresser to the stars Jamie Stevens were all hand picked by Cowell to work their magic behind the scenes this year. Now unless their remit was to 'make everyone look slightly ridiculous', they're not quite doing their jobs as of yet. We've got pretty Sophie Habibis made up like a frumpy walking fringe in cheap-looking evening dresses, Frankie Cocozza pitching up in Halloween Pete Doherty costumes and Johnny Robinson made to look like the ghost of Kenneth Williams. If he were Japanese. Dreadful stuff so far.

Overly long shows - The first live show saw just 32 minutes of warbling in its epic two and a half hour running time. Cynical viewers have suggested that the shows are being stretched out to allow even more advertising in them than usual. Oh, you cynics... You're so cynical! And probably right.

Frankie Cocozza - He might just be the worst human being ever. Could it be Frankie's infuriatingly tousled barnet and explosion-in-Topman-in-2002 style that are making people want to switch off? No? Maybe that's just us, then.

Something's definitely up with The X Factor in this eighth series. What's your diagnosis? Snap on your latex glove and head over to our Facebook page or Twitter feed (@TVOnVM) and let us know.