Soap of the week.Has to be Corrie. All soaps are melodrama but the writing on the Street is sharper than anywhere else at the moment. The Carla and Liam story line is sexy, tense and sharply edited. On the Square, anything comparable is attacked with a sledgehammer.
Clever movie rip off the weekCorrie's Carla's sign off line on Wednesday - as she dangled her house keys - "You know where I am. You don't even have to knock." Straight out of Casablanca. Which is better than casa Bianca.
Ad of the week.Drench - featuring Gerry Anderson's Brains puppet. Clever, memorable, no strings attached. Might even buy a bottle. Or maybe not.
Lookalike of the week Chesney on Coronation Street. A dead ringer for Mark. E. Smith of the Fall. Even sounds like him!
The One Show blew it when they invited Sex and the City's Kristin Davis on and then subjected her to a 'battle of the sexes' quiz called "Heels or Wheels?" while trotting out the tired old cliché - men don't like soft furnishings. I've got news for you Adrian 'Voodoo' Chiles. I love my sofa.
How depressing was that brace of shows about the morbidly obese, Lose 30 Stone Or Die and Half Ton Dad? Both were sensitively made documentaries (unlike The World's Tallest Woman), but in the case of 73 stone Kenneth Brumley, I'm glad they haven't invented HD scratch'n'sniff telly. As for the KB clan feeding their ten month old with a double cheeseburger...is nutritional counselling all these people need?
Talking of Super Sized Whoppers,
The F-Word is up and running. I counted 23 expletives. Mostly mine. Geri Halliwell's meatballs made ex-Rangers goalkeeper, turned monkfish poacher, Gordon Ramsay wince. Ginger Spice's culinary skills are on a par with her singing expertise. Scream if you wanna leave her dinner party faster.
Quote of the week.Hapless Peter Drury during the UEFA Cup Final - Rangers v Zenit St. P'burg: "You just do not out sing the Old Firm!" he chirruped, as an impressive bevy of Zenit babes jiggled in the stands. Er, you do when you've just scored twice, Pedro.
Footballer's name of the week. From the same game, the Russkies' silky headed Andrei Arshavin. Or as Delia Smith would call him "Lezby Arshavin you!"
Missed opportunity of the week. The Trouble With Property. Should have been called Repossession Repossession.
HAVE YOUR SAY ON THE WEEK'S TELLY
