A League Of Their Own: Jack Whitehall’s best put-downs | Virgin Media
A League Of Their Own: Jack Whitehall’s best put-downs

A League Of Their Own: Jack Whitehall’s best put-downs

10/05/2016TV

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He may have all the sporting skills of a small tangerine, but when it comes to witty put-downs, Jack Whitehall is the Usain Bolt of speedy quippery. And, with A League Of Their Own returning for a new U.S. based series, A League Of Their Own: US Roadtrip on Tuesday 10th May at 9pm on Sky 1, we’re looking forward to seeing what more searing insults he has to offer.

In the meantime though, here are some of our favourites from series past…

Jack Whitehall, insulting everyone from the comfort of his own cardie.

Jack Whitehall, insulting everyone from the comfort of his own cardie.

On Freddie’s appearance:

“In the first show you were quite rough and unrefined, but now you look like a handsome lesbian.”

 

On Alan Shearer’s management career:

“Alan got a dud gig because he had to manage Newcastle when they had Joey Barton. I mean that’s unfair, that’s like joining Alcoholics Anonymous and getting told you have to sponsor Freddie Flintoff.”

 

On Jamie’s sports punditry:

“I’ve watched you a few times and I think you need to loosen up a bit. And when I say loosen up I don’t mean with your flow, but I mean specifically in the trouser department. Last season I turn on my TV, Thierry Henry is rocking a very casual lunchbox. Cut to you, it looks like someone’s wrapped up a dead rat in cling-film. Seriously. They had to go to a commercial break so the fire brigade could come and cut you out of your trousers.”

 

On Freddie’s fitness:

“Fred is over the hill. His body: shot to bits. It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. The shoulder’s out of whack, the hip’s dodgy. The knees have seen more wear and tear than a dockside prostitute.”

 

On Jamie’s survival skills:

“He’d be good in an emergency situation. He’d know what to do to survive. Locate water, find some berries, little bit of burnt wood ash, mix it together, make an emergency hair dye.”

 

On Freddie’s uncouth nature:

“Historically, if me and Freddie were to fall out, I would challenge him to a duel and we would sort it out like that. But maybe not Fred because he’s not necessarily a gentleman. If he wants to sort out a dispute he does it the good old fashioned way – pops around to the guy’s house and takes a dump on the drive.”

 

On Jamie’s punditry skills (again):

“Would you try to tell Cristiano Ronaldo how to take a free kick? Would you try to tell Akabusi how to hurdle? Would you try to tell Jamie Redknapp how to point out the obvious? No.”

 

On the love life of Frankie from The Saturdays:

“I thought it was great when I saw that Wayne Bridge was going out with you, because after all those years at Man City I think it’s really nice he now gets to play on a Saturday.”

 

On Steven Gerrard’s teammates:

“In Indonesia, there’s a guy who’s a massive fan of Liverpool and he opened up a hotel called the Stevie G hotel. I tried to book a room there and they were fully booked. So I had to stay in one down the road that wasn’t nearly as good. It’s called the Hotel Jordan Henderson.”

 

On Ryan Giggs’ film tastes:

“Ryan Giggs likes musicals. His favourite is O Brother Where Art Thou.”

 

On the management approach of Graeme Souness:

“Nowadays you see these managers like AVB and Mourinho and they’ve got these nice coats and coiffed hair. When Graeme was a manager he was like a maniac PE teacher that would psychologically destroy a boy and then, just to make sure the message got through, he would have sex with his mum at parent’s evening.”

 

On Corden’s eating habits (after James had joked about how he tended to have breakfast at Jack’s mum’s house, along with lots of other men):

“They’re certainly not getting any food if you’re there. If you were having cereal you’d have it out of the Champions League.”

 

On Freddie’s tripe smoothie intake:

“That's the first time he's been given points for drinking and they're not on his licence.”

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