Think Eurovision is all about getting sloshed on prosecco, gobbling crisps and throwing shapes to bad 90s-esque pop? Well yes it is, but Sirs Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi popped up to give the whole thing a touch of class, as they reprised their roles from the sitcom Vicious to deploy a few withering comments on the whole darn thing. A bit like the grumpy old men from The Muppet Show, but without arms up their backsides.
Harvey vs The Haters
The c-bomb was detonated on Loose Women, but the culprit was an adorable young lad, and it was all in a good cause, so that was OK then. Katie Price had asked her son Harvey what he’d say to the awful bullies who target him online, and this was his response: “Hello, you….” And you can guess the rest. Cue awkward apologies from the regulars, but Twitter erupted in applause as a brave, if slightly gutter-mouthed, British hero was born.
Survivalist Ed Stafford – aka the slightly more crazy-seeming alternative to Bear Grylls – found fresh water in the middle of the Gobi desert, and his delirious relish was a delight to behold. (As was his sudden panic when he realised he wasn’t alone.)
Best Grant entrance scene of the week
Did Grant come out with a hilariously EastEnders-ish opening line when he made his grand re-appearance in Walford last week? You bet he did.
Ghost of Christmas Pat
Staying with ’Enders, the nation reached for the collective Kleenex as Peggy Mitchell, everyone’s favourite angry matriarch, decided to end her life rather than succumb to the ravages of illness. It was so darn heartbreaking that even the sudden appearance of Imaginary Pat Butcher only made us laugh inappropriately a little bit.
Rude word on Countdown alert
There’s nothing like a rude word on Countdown to bring out everyone’s inner 13-year-old. So let us give thanks to Dictionary Corner this week, for forcing Rachel Riley to spell out the above word while somehow maintaining a straight(ish) face. It makes us proud to be British.
Absolute filth on This Morning
“I think we should do sex toys in the last 10 seconds” is a line that should surely never be uttered on morning television. But Holly Willoughby went ahead and said it anyway, inspiring a chortlesome comeback from Alice Beer. Note: “Dan” is Dan Baldwin, Holly’s hubby…
Toasting Sir Terry
And we end this week’s round-up on a poignant note. A Eurovision-related poignant note, no less, with Graham Norton’s touching tribute to Sir Terry Wogan before song nine. Why that song? “The only bit of advice he had for me was don’t have drink before song nine,” Graham revealed. “Well this is song nine. So while the crowd here cheer on their home boy I would urge you back in the UK to raise a cup, a mug, a glass, whatever you have in front of you, and give thanks for the man who was the voice of Eurovision.”
Eurovision is available to watch on BBC iPlayer
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