Who’s who in Big Brother 2016 | Virgin Media
Who’s who in Big Brother 2016

Who’s who in Big Brother 2016

08/06/2016TV

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Remember when Big Brother was about real, everyday folks gagging for a bite of fame pie? Well those days are gone, boys and girls. This year’s BB is crammed with well-trained media monkeys, from reality show starlets to a celebrity chef’s son. Imagine a TOWIE/Chelsea mash-up set inside a giant terrifying funhouse: that’s Big Brother 2016. And here are the people you’ll be weirdly entranced by for weeks to come…

 

Marco 

Who?: Party-mad son of Marco Pierre White, arguably the most talented and influential British chef ever. Is apparently famous on Instagram. We’re sure daddy’s very proud.

Personality: He doesn’t really need a personality – he has tattoos on his face.

Most Likely To: Get horrendously drunk and strut/prance around like a Mick Jagger tribute act. He may also do a bit of cooking, but only “for chicks”.

Fascinating factoid: He once proposed to his girlfriend by text. Such a romantic.

Emma and Victoria

Who?: Bubbly, perky twin sisters who look like they sprang straight from the fevered imagination of teenage boys, Weird Science-style.

Personality: Unstoppably upbeat, non-stop talkers who finish each other’s sentences. Basically Jedward in high heels.

Most Likely To: Get booted within two weeks and release a single as this generation’s Cheeky Girls. Though hopefully without either of them marrying Lembit Opik.

Fascinating factoid: They’re international DJs apparently. Somehow we doubt deadmau5 has anything to worry about.

Andy

Who?: A former BBC journalist who is one of the few sensible, normal-seeming housemates this year. Heaven help him.

Personality: Polite, intelligent, understated, dignified. Like we say, heaven help him.

Most Likely To: Be driven to total despair and do a runner. Sobbing.

Fascinating factoid: He left the BBC after protesting the uber-controversial Tyson Fury being nominated for Sports Personality of the Year.  

Laura

Who?: A fun-loving Northern lass everyone already hates.

Personality: Confident. By which we mean she thinks of herself as the “Holy Grail” and knows she can “have any man”. This is presumably why literally every single person in the crowd booed her when she made her grand entrance.

Most Likely To: Have a rocky romance with one of the resident hunks, and talk about that and nothing else in the diary room.

Fascinating factoid: Laura reportedly had a romp with Justin Bieber. And appeared in ads for spot cream.

Alex

Who?: Hench hunk with paving slab pecs and really nice eyes, according to Emma Willis.

Personality: A man of few words, he “treats people with respect” and likes his mum. Basically, a regular bloke-type bloke. Apart from the whole being-a-semi-famous-model thing.

Most Likely To: Bed at least three female housemates with the smooth efficiency of a sex-bot.

Fascinating factoid: He’s best mates with Geordie Shore’s Vicky Pattinson. Be impressed.

Lateysha

Who?: Welsh bombshell with a patriotic sheep tattoo in a er… “intimate” area. It’s always touching to see a young lady who loves her country.

Personality: She’s a self-proclaimed diva who is “literally not scared of no one” and promises us plenty of boobs and bum. We have nothing to add to that.

Most Likely To: Play spin the bottle, start random fights, throw up drunkenly in a shoe. You know, stuff like that.

Fascinating factoid: She’s starred in The Valleys, which is a sort of Welsh-flavoured version of Geordie Shore. With all that entails.

Evelyn

Who?: Someone from Australia. That’s about all we’ve got.

Personality: Gleefully proud and hostile. Has the air of someone who’d casually lean over and bite you till you bled, just for lols.

Most Likely To: Toy with people’s emotions for her own amusement. Don’t expect a romance, though. “A guy that’s good enough for me wouldn’t be in the Big Brother house.”

Fascinating factoid: Erm. We’ll get back to you. 

Sam

Who?: The best looking person you’ve ever seen. We know this because Sam says so.

Personality: Charmingly cocky, this celebrity stylist has a way of bigging himself up that somehow isn’t annoying. “Straight guys come onto me,” he boasts, delightfully.

Most Likely To: Preen, pose and have a mad passionate love affair with himself. After all, he does have “the best hair in my area”.

Fascinating factoid: He’s slightly Instagram-famous, and is mates with TOWIE people. OK, we’re stretching the definition of “fascinating” with this one.

Georgina

Who?: A reality show star with a penchant for polo and show-jumping. But don’t call her posh.

Personality: Seems at first like a minor Middleton, but never mind her good breeding and cut-glass accent – she just wants you to be impressed by her make-up, clothes and hair.

Most Likely To: Alienate the housemates by saying stuff like “You don’t need to have money to have horses” and seeming about as down-to-earth as Boris Johnson.

Fascinating factoid: Her previous reality show was called Taking New York. In case you were wondering.

Jason

Who?: Big, beefy property developer who also works as a body double in various blockbusters. As you do.

Personality: Gruff, no-nonsense hard man. A perfect genetic cross between Gerard Butler and Ray Winstone.

Most Likely To: Become the daddy figure of the house, dispense straight-talking wisdom, stay out of the squabbling, and win the whole thing handily.

Fascinating factoid: He made an appearance in Spectre, presumably while Daniel Craig was on his lunch break.

Jackson

Who?: Achingly “cool” male model, mysteriously fond of dancing around with tea and biscuits.

Personality: Pretentious and self-obsessed. He describes himself as an “anti-man”, which he defines as someone who doesn’t drink protein shakes, or something.

Most Likely To: Divide the audience into those who fancy him, and those who think he requires a serious slap for dressing like some sort of hipster Willy Wonka.

Fascinating factoid: Despite appearances, he isn’t actually Dappy.

Chelsea

Who?: Mr Moneybags who made his fortune with a bunch of businesses and is connected to the Made in Chelsea clan.

Personality: A weird combination of swaggeringly arrogant and deeply insecure. That’s according to our instant, knee-jerk assessment anyway.

Most Likely To: Mention that he has a Bentley convertible at least once an hour, then cry into his pillow when he thinks everyone’s asleep.

Fascinating factoid: He has a Bentley convertible.

 

The Others

This year there’s a whole other bunch of contestants who aren’t technically housemates. They are “the Others”, whose job it is to “target and take down” the official housemates. Here are the six troublemakers in question…

 

Natalie

Who?: A “ticking timebomb” is how she describes herself. And for once we believe the trash talk, because Natalie used to be a professional dominatrix.

Personality: Dominant, unsurprisingly. And while she’s one of the older contestants, we’re not expecting her to be any sort of caring, compassionate mother hen.

Most Likely To: Give any naughty housemates a good spanking. At least, that’s probably what Channel 5 are hoping she’ll do.

Fascinating factoid: She apparently has lots of dirt on powerful people, including chancellor George Osbourne. 

Charlie

Who?: Hailing from Kent, this fearsome former Catholic schoolgirl used to work as a stripper. Expect plenty more juicy revelations, pronto.

Personality: She calls herself “a nightmare when it comes to relationships”. Why do we get the feeling that sentence could be shortened by five words?

Most Likely To: Get into an instant relationship with a housemate, then scandalously snog someone else. She’s a self-described “serial cheat”, after all.

Fascinating factoid: Sorry, we got nothing.

Hughie

Who?: Angry-looking young man who has made the leap from traditional Irish traveler lifestyle to the glittering world of Big Brother.

Personality: Slightly enraged. Seriously, in every shot of him we’ve seen so far he’s sported the facial expression of a man who’s just arrived home to discover his housemates have eaten all his cheese.

Most Likely To: Surprise us all by being a sweet lad who means well beneath the hostile bravado. Maybe.

Fascinating factoid: Despite his (presumably) staunchly traditional upbringing, he recently came out as bisexual to his family. 

Andrew

Who?: Professional kickboxer who likes Donald Trump and doesn’t suffer fools gladly. He’ll be very un-glad in the BB house then.

Personality: Calm, calculating and clearly very intelligent, Andrew may well turn out to be this year’s resident villain.

Most Likely To: Quietly plot the downfall of his rivals. And if they face him on it… he’s a kickboxer. What they gonna do?

Fascinating factoid: He’s a world kickboxing champion and his nickname is King Cobra. Yikes.

Jayne

Who?: Former glamour model and former journalist, turned private detective. Yes, seriously.

Personality: Hard to call, but odds are she’ll prove to be a clever, diplomatic tactician and run rings around the younger, more naïve housemates. 

Most Likely To: Keep to the sidelines and let the others knock each other out of the running.

Fascinating factoid: Her previous romantic conquests have included John Terry and Sven-Goran Eriksson.

Ryan

Who?: Former X Factor contestant who looks a bit like Declan Donnelly’s less adorable twin.

Personality: Flamboyant, loud and hyperactive. Yep, he’s tailor made for Big Brother alright.

Most Likely To: Get into blazing rows, shout in people’s faces, have epic strops and generate massive amounts of Twitter tutting.

Fascinating factoid: Simon Cowell called Ryan a “horror of a human being”. He probably took that as a compliment.

 

Miss the launch night of Big Brother 2016? Find it in Catch Up > By Channel > Channel 5.

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