With Rogue One: A Star Wars Story about to reveal the full story behind the briefest of plot points from Star Wars Episode IV, we got to wondering which other casually tossed-off moments from the series could be spun out into feature-length adventures. We’ve reached out to Disney but as yet, sadly, we cannot confirm that any of the following counts as canon.
1. Han Solo And The Kessel Run
There’s every chance we’ll see this in the forthcoming Han Solo standalone film, but who wouldn’t want to see Solo win the Millennium Falcon from Lando Calrissian, make the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs then spend ages explaining how that’s possible when parsecs are a measure of distance, not time? Maybe trim that last bit if it’s a bit dry.
2. Barry Cobden: Stormtrooper
Silent comedy about the universe’s clumsiest Stormtrooper. Barry, a lovable oaf with a heart of gold, repeatedly trips over mouse droids on the Death Star, falls off gantries and catches his foot in closing blast doors. After whacking his head on a door in a rush to capture some droids, Barry believes he is the Emperor and sets off to shout at Darth Vader - with hilarious consequences! Stars Kevin James.
3. Bounty Hunters Assemble
Space pirates Boba Fett, Dengar, IG-88, Bossk, 4-LOM and Zuckuss are tasked with locating the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back. But what do they do on their days off? Bounty Hunters Assemble (pitch: Star Wars meets Suicide Squad) sees them kicking back, exchanging bantz and forging firm friendships against the existential bleakness of a mercenary lifestyle.
4. Finding Pateesa
On the planet Dathomir, Rancors live a peaceful existence tending to their gardens and baking Gamorrean guard pies. When Pateesa the Rancor is captured by a Corellian named Malakili and trained to kill for entertainment in a subterranean dungeon, her family set out to rescue her in this delightful Pixar film for kids of all ages. It doesn’t end well.
5. Gungan Ho
In this prequel to the prequels, we discover the brutal history of the Gungans and their fight for survival against the humans of Naboo. An 18-rated war movie, Gungan Ho sees Boss Nass lead his fearless soldiers into bloody battle where limbs and lives are lost on both sides. Eventually the humans force the Gungans underground and poison their water supply with a drug that causes extreme idiocy in all Gungan children.
7. The Battle Of Jakku
If you’re wondering how that Star Destroyer ended up buried in the sands of Jakku in The Force Awakens, then you could do worse than find out by reading Claudia Gray’s excellent novel Lost Stars. Alternatively, we could have a film spanning the original and sequel trilogies focusing on the Battle Of Jakku, at the end of which the Empire is heavily fined for littering the desert with spaceships.
The best character from Revenge Of The Sith was obviously General Grievous, and his introduction is tossed off in the opening crawl which mentions his kidnapping of Chancellor Palpatine. Now that right there is a spinoff film waiting to happen, from Grievous’ cybernetic origins through to that “stunning move” that kicks off Episode III.
9. What Happened, Miss Snootles?
A documentary about the turbulent life of nightclub singer Sy Snootles, including her affairs with Max Rebo and Droopy McCool which threatened to destroy one of the galaxy’s best-loved cabaret acts. An entire act should be devoted to the lengthy period of drug abuse that led to the band being named ‘The Galactic Jizz-Wailers’.
10. The Clone Wars
Imagine a Star Wars film - maybe even a trilogy - based on the Clone Wars, that mysterious battle Obi-Wan mentions to Luke in A New Hope. It could focus on Darth Vader and his relationship with Kenobi, and how the Empire rose to power. All it needs is a lengthy prologue about Vader as a cute kid and some comedy CGI characters, and... (that’s enough - Ed).