Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne continue to find something strange in the neighbourhood this week, as comedy Bad Neighbours 2 – and god-awful girl-next-door Chloé Moretz – moves on to Sky Cinema in February. The raucous new neighbours are nothing compared to these five memorable next-door naughties, who count sex, bombs and murder as their favourite pastimes. If you're thinking about knocking on their doors and asking for a cup of sugar, take our advice: stay indoors.
The Klopeks – The 'Burbs (1989)
When a mysterious family moves into the neighbourhood, Tom Hanks' Ray does what any self-respecting neighbourhood watchman should do: start the curtain twitching and snooping in earnest. The Klopeks, he suspects, are murderers, and he has lots of circumstantial evidence to prove it, like... uhhh, they have a basement, which is where creepy people do stuff, and... oh come on! They look like an actual real-life version of The Addams Family! As it turns out, Ray was right: the Klopeks were indeed a family of homicidal maniacs, justifying his initial profiling. The lesson is: always be suspicious of people who you have never met to whom you have made no effort to understand.
Noah – The Boy Next Door (2015)
Jennifer Lopez's divorced cougar has her eye on the buff boy next door in this erotic thriller – naturally, getting so close to J.Lo's booty drives him crazy and he becomes wild with rage. Before he morphs into a psycho, though, Noah is a picture of innocence: he asks his luscious Latino neighbour over to help him cook; he buys her a “first edition” of Homer's The Iliad, which would have been several hundreds years old. All standard flirtation. But no. He contracts Lopez Fever. The red mists of love descend and before he knows it, Noah has J.Lo duct-taped to a chair, bound and gagged, perhaps to ensure she didn't try to sing her way to freedom.
Danielle – The Girl Next Door (2007)
In a highly relatable situation that happens all the time, Emile Hirsch's teenager Matthew discovers that his sexy new next-door neighbour, played by Elisha Cuthbert, is an ex-pornographic actress who also totally fancies him. Duh, typical! Danielle, the adult film star in question, is swept away by her neighbour's total and complete normalness and packs in the porno to find true love. So far, so us, right guys? Although Danielle might seem like a dream come true, she's actually a bit of a nightmare - it turns out the adult entertainment industry is kind of unsavoury. Who knew? Not us. We've never even heard of...pron, is it?
Oliver – Arlington Road (1999)
Typical neighbour grievances usually amount to: loud music; leaving a burnt mattress on the front lawn; letting the vines creep over the fence; weird parking; and, when the occasion calls for it, stealing post. But Jeff Bridges' character in Arlington Road suspects his neighbour of being a terrorist – that's a new one on us. As it happens, Oliver – played by 'Aw shucks!' butter-wouldn't-melt Shawshank good guy Tim Robbins – holds a massive grudge against the FBI for the deaths of his family and he intends to include Bridges and family as collateral damage in his bloody war against the state. So maybe think twice about pounding on the wall next time your neighbour has got his hammer drill out: he just might be building a bomb.
Lars – Rear Window (1954)
Is James Stewart's neighbour a wrong'un? He acts like a wrong'un. He looks like a wrong-un. It's a Hitchcock film so someone is bound to be a wrong'un. In this classic thriller, adapted from that Simpsons episode where Bart thinks Flanders murders his wife, Stewart watches agog as he mounts evidence against his neighbour, who sure is acting quite a lot like he just killed someone and is trying to bury the body. The cast on his leg prevents Jimmy's hero from getting up and kicking some ass, but it also puts him at a disadvantage when said neighbour rumbles his spying and turns up to chuck him out a window. Take our advice: if your neighbours are committing felons, leave them be as long as they're doing it quietly.