What to watch this week | Virgin Media
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A bionic dog, a new Nordic Noir, and the prospect of seeing Stephen Bear on a date are among the reasons you’ll want to stay right there on the sofa over the coming week.

 

The Wedding Day

Monday 13th February at 10pm on Channel 4 (CH 104)

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Why you should watch: Well, who doesn’t like a wedding? Especially one filled with hidden angst and dread.

What’s the gist?: This one-off documentary tells the whole story of British society today through chronicling one ordinary wedding.

Who’s getting hitched?: Serena – a posh girl from Cambridgeshire – and Jordan, a bloke from more modest origins in Stoke.

Sample themes: Our attitudes to money, class, romance, marriage, and moaning in-laws who ruin things for everyone.

Ideal if: You want a reason to feel even more cynical about Valentine’s Day. And love in general.

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Celebs Go Dating

Monday 13th January at 10pm on E4 (CH 107)

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Why you should watch: Because we get to see Stephen Bear go on a date.

We say again: Stephen “my every waking moment is a mad and embarrassing circus” Bear, trying to flirt in a civilised way on a date.

Who else is “going dating”?: Celebs your mum has never heard of, eg: Jorgie Porter, Perri Kiely, Ferne McCann and Joey Essex.

What to say: “Anyone who doesn’t think Joey Essex is a national treasure, is wrong.”

What not to say: “I’m definitely taking dating tips from these guys.”

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Grimm

Tuesday 14th February at 9pm on W (CH 110)

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Why you should watch: It’s the last ever season of Grimm, so you’ll have to revoke your geek credentials if you don’t tune in.

Where are we at?: Well, heroic monster-stomper Nick is on the run, and Captain Renard is being a right jerk.

Also: The romance between Nick and Adalind steps up a notch.

Quote of the day: “This piece of wood is scaring the crap out of me.”

Brace yourself for: The mother of all cliffhangers at the end of this episode. Yikes.

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The Real Marigold Hotel

Wednesday 15th February at 9pm on BBC One (CH 101)

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Why you should watch: A fresh batch of OAP celebrities see if they can share a house in India. And it’s delightful.

Is that snooker legend Dennis Taylor among them?: Why yes. Yes it is.

Also: Bill Oddie, who looks more and more like a furry animal from a fantasy film, evergreen song-and-dance man Lionel Blair, and author Miriam Stoppard.

First order of the day: If you’re Paul Nicholas, it’s buying some pants. He forgot to pack his.

What this proves: Trashy reality TV suddenly seems quaint and respectable if everyone in it has wrinkles.

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24: Legacy

Wednesday 15th February at 9pm on FOX (CH 110)

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Why you should watch: Jack’s… not back! This is a brand new version of 24, with a brand new hero.

Who is this hero?: Actor Corey Hawkins takes over saving-the-world duties, as a soldier battling against terrorists.

Unlikely name alert: He’s called “Eric”, making him the first action hero Eric since the kid who became Bananaman.

Watch if: You like thrills, spills and cheesy lines like “I’m the only person I can trust.”

Don’t watch if: You’re the president of the UK's Kiefer Sutherland Appreciation Society.

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Grey’s Anatomy

Wednesday 15th February at 9pm on Sky Living (CH 112)

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Why you should watch: Settle into the sofa, because the long-running medical drama is back after its mid-season break.

Startling setting alert: The docs are being dispatched to a women’s prison, to look after a teenage inmate who’s very violent, and very pregnant.

What to expect: Meaningful looks, anguished emotional outbursts, tear-jerking music, and everyone being really attractive all the time.

What not to expect: McDreamy. Because he’s still dead, people.

Best watched with: An entire box of Milk Tray should be just about perfect.

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Madam Secretary

Wednesday 15th February at 10pm on Sky Living (CH 112)

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Why you should watch: It’s the brand new season of the glossy drama starring Tea Leoni as the US Secretary of State.

Why it’s necessary: Because it’s far removed from the crazed circus that is real-life US politics right now.

Issue of the week: In this season opener, Elizabeth has to convince the President that climate change is real. So not THAT far-removed, then…

Look out for: Morgan Freeman, who pops up as a top judge, which is about as perfect as casting goes.

Trivia tidbit: Madeleine Albright, who was the real-life first ever female Secretary of State, once made a cameo as herself.

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Mafia Women with Trevor McDonald

Thursday 16th February at 9pm on ITV (CH 103)

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Why you should watch: Sir Trev, who is now basically Louis Theroux without the faux-innocence, meets women bound up with American mobsters. There’s an offer you can’t refuse.

Sample woman: Linda Scarpa, whose father, nicknamed the “Grim Reaper” once almost beat a friend of hers to death.

Also: The journalist will be spending quality time with one of the mobsters themselves. Which will surely be in no way tense.

Most surreal scene: When we see home videos of thuggish mob lords dancing awkwardly at weddings.

It has to be said: “Mafia Women with Trevor McDonald” wins this week’s TV Show That Could Have Been Pitched By Alan Partridge award.

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The Supervet

Thursday 16th February at 8pm on Channel 4 (CH 104)

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Why you should watch: Believe it or not, this is season EIGHT – count ‘em, EIGHT – of the documentary about Professor Noel Fitzpatrick.

Who is he?: If you still don’t know, he’s a genuine, proper genius man who uses sci-fi technology to fix animals.

Most gob-smacking moment: When the vet creates two BIONIC PAWS for an injured terrier. We also meet a very lazy dachshund.

What to say: “That dachshund is basically me.”

What not to say: “What if Noel turns evil and uses his powers to create an army of lethal cyborg poodles? What then?”

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The Team

Friday 17th February at 9pm on More4 (CH 101)

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Why you should watch: Because we’re still suckers for Nordic Noir, and this a brand new one.

What’s the gist?: A Danish detective investigates the killings of prostitutes in three major European cities. Cheery stuff, then.

Is there corruption in high places?: This is Nordic Noir. Of course there is.

Why does it have such a boring title?: We don’t know, but it sounds like a working title that they forgot to bother changing.

Bonus reason to watch: It stars Borgen and The Killing veteran, Lars Mikkelsen. Who is good.

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