There are intriguing spin-offs galore this week, as well as the return of an epic hip-hop drama, and the sight of a beardless Jack Whitehall.
Monday 27th March at 10pm on E4 (CH 144)
Why you should watch: Because it’s the return of the hip-hop mash-up of all the best possible things.
Be specific!: It’s a bit Shakespeare, it’s a bit Dallas, and it has some great tunes too. It’s highbrow, lowbrow and it’ll make you want to rap. Do not rap.
Where are we at?: Musical kingpin Lucious Lyon is about to announce a big new project. Meanwhile, Jamal is about to have an interesting time in rehab.
The best thing about it: Probably the fact that it’s got someone called Lucious Lyon. He could be a Marvel villain with a name like that.
Unlikely offspring alert: Look out for a guest appearance from Rumer Willis. You know, Bruce and Demi’s sprog.
Monday 27th March at 7.30pm on E4 (CH 144)
Why you should watch: It’s season six of the feel-good comedy about a young chap whose life is turned upside down by the sudden appearance of his infant daughter.
Season SIX?: Yep, but it doesn’t matter if you’re late to the party. Just watch it and guffaw, already.
What you should know about our hero: His middle name is “Bon Jovi”.
And what is he up to?: The new season begins with our guy desperately seeking a woman he met for a few moments in a laundrette, because she’s clearly his soulmate, or something.
This can’t end well: Oh come on, where’s your sense of romance?
Fake! The Great Masterpiece Challenge
Tuesday 28th March at 8pm on Sky Arts (CH 122)
Why you should watch: Because you get to see members of the public ogling works of art, and giving casual opinions on masterpieces.
Why?: Fakes have been hidden among them, and it’s down to ordinary folks to figure them out.
Actual opinion on actual painting: “He’s buff though, isn’t he, Jesus?”
In other words: It’s Gogglebox meets Antiques Roadshow.
Bonus reason to watch: The devilishly charming Giles Coren will be doing his trademark scowl as one of the hosts.
The Blacklist: Redemption
Wednesday 29th March at 9pm on Sky1 (CH 110)
Why you should watch: The Blacklist has spawned a spin-off, and we’re curious to know if it’s even 50% as awesome as the original.
What’s the connection?: Tom Keen, from the original show, joins a group of ex-baddies who now do lots of cool, heroic, espionage-style stuff.
Oedipus alert: The leader of the group is Tom’s mum, and boy do they exchange some smouldering looks. Let’s hope Tom doesn’t go all Bates Motel on us.
First mission: Rescue a CIA agent. And look cool while doing it.
Reason to feel old: His mum is played by Famke Janssen. You know, the lithe beauty from GoldenEye? She is now a grown adult’s mum.
Wednesday 29th March at 8pm on BBC One (CH 101)
Why you should watch: Because it’s MasterChef. OF COURSE you’re going to watch it.
Has Gregg Wallace left yet?: No. No he hasn’t. But we love him, right? Guys?
Will Gregg Wallace make disturbing sex noises when looking at pudding?: Yes.
What else is new?: There’s now a “MasterChef” market. Which is basically just a room filled with ingredients.
Kitchen calamity of the day: Custard ravioli, anyone?
The Good Fight
Thursday 30th March at 9pm on More4 (CH 147)
Why you should watch: It’s the second big spin-off series of the week, and this one has been birthed by The Good Wife.
What’s the gist?: It follows the legal eagle adventures of two of The Good Wife’s best characters: Diane Lockhart and Lucca Quinn.
Why is Diane having a really bad time?: Her savings have been wiped out in a financial scandal. Yikes.
Look out for: Rose Leslie from Game of Thrones, playing a young intern.
What about Donald Trump?: Oh yes, you’ll be seeing him too…
Thursday 30th March at 10pm on Channel 4 (CH 104)
Why you should watch: It’s the newest Nordic Noir thriller, and it’s got a peach of a beginning.
How so?: We start with two teenage lads meeting for a secret romantic tryst – ie lots of snogging in the woods. Which is then interrupted when they witness vicious killings.
Probability of dark intrigue, personal secrets, secret conspiracies: 100%.
What to say: “All these years after The Killing, we’re still suckers for angsty, moody crime shows with subtitles.”
What not to say: “Seriously though, this show has the most boring title ever.”
Thursday 30th March at 9pm on Universal (CH 164)
Why you should watch: Because it’s the glossy, sexy, courtroom-filled show you’ve been waiting for.
Any relation to Chicago Fire?: Yep, they’re set in the same universe.
Oh really?: The first episode even covers the legal fallout from a story featured in Fire.
Bonus fact for nerds: It’s also set in the same overall universe as Law & Order.
Apollo Creed alert: Yes, that guy playing that attorney really is Carl Weathers, star of Rocky and Predator.
Carters Get Rich
Friday 31st March at 8pm on Sky1 (CH 110)
Why you should watch: It’s a wacky new comedy and it’s got Dawson from Dawson’s Creek in it, weirdly enough.
What’s the gist?: An ordinary, working class family become gazillionaires overnight when their kid creates a hot new app.
Aspirational viewing then?: It’s more like a madcap kids’ sitcom, with adult gags sprinkled on.
What about Dawson?: Oh yes, and James Van Der Beek is perfectly cast as a strutting “tech bro” billionaire.
Swipe right or left?: Just watch the darn thing, you 21st Century maniac.
Decline And Fall
Friday 31st March at 9pm on BBC One (CH 101)
Why you should watch: The classic social comedy from Evelyn Waugh gets the full, glossy BBC treatment, and by jove it’s going to be a hoot.
Who’s in it?: Some top thesps, including David Suchet, Tim Pigott-Smith and a curiously beardless Jack Whitehall.
What’s it about?: A posh Oxford type (Whitehall) is hit by a scandal and dispatched to teach at a school in the wilds of Wales.
Is that a Desperate Housewife in the mix?: Yes, that really is Eva Longoria, in a Waugh adaptation. Mind: blown.
A word from the author: Evelyn Waugh himself cautioned against reading too much “social critique” into it, saying “Please bear in mind throughout that IT IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY.”