Movie monsters are, on the whole, pretty terrifying. But every now and again you get a BFGMM (Big Friendly Gargantuan Mega-Monster) who’s one hug away from becoming your best mate. Case in point, A Monster Calls (which hits Virgin Movies this week), follows young Conor (Lewis McDougall) as he struggles to come to terms with his mother’s terminal illness, and who finds solace in the unlikely arms of an enormous tree monster (voiced by Liam Neeson).
It’s a story as fantastical as it is heartbreaking, and will leave you wishing you had a tree monster of your own to help you fight life’s wrongs, both metaphorical and literal. So with that in mind, we decided to collate our list of Movie Monsters we’d want as bezzie friends. Even if, on first glance, they appear more murderous than matey.
Godzilla (Godzilla, 1954 - present day)
When he’s not laser-mouth-blasting Mothra or stomping thousands of teeny-tiny humans under his clawed feet, Mr. Zilla really is quite the misunderstood soul. He’s a quiet chap who’s happy to spend decades chilling out doing his thing on his lonesome, and who’s generally only drawn out of retirement by bomb-happy humans or curmudgeonly kaijus.
He’d be the perfect downtime companion - just bring ample beverages and food, hop aboard his shoulder for transport, and the two of you could head anywhere you want on the planet for some blissed out relax-y time.
Godzilla (1998) is available now on Sky Cinema
The BFG (The BFG, 2016)
Sure, he doesn’t really respect personal space or the importance of ‘sleep-in Saturdays’ (if he wants to hang out, he’ll just grab you straight out your window), but he’s a great pacifier for when times get rough, and can grant you glorious dreams until the end of your days.
Plus, he lives in the perfect getaway location - who needs the seaside, when your best mate can transport you to the beautiful Giant Country for a lovely weekend away (and protect you from being eaten in the process)?
Find The BFG in On Demand > Movies > Virgin Movies
Zuul The Gatekeeper and Vinz Clortho The Keymaster (Ghostbusters, 1984)
They say a dog is a man’s best friend. And these demonic gargoyle dogs are definitely loyal, if their enthusiastic defence of Gozer the Gozerian is anything to go by.
Let’s face it - they’re always going to be the last ones picked for adoption at the local dog home, which is all the more reason to give them extra cuddles and win them to your side. Plus, it’d make strolls around your local park nothing if not interesting.
Ghostbusters (1984) is available now on Sky Cinema
The Predator (Predator, 1987 - present day)
For every ridiculous paint balling team-building exercise at work, or ‘hilarious’ bantz-filled stag do group activity you’re forced to endure, just invite your new buddy The Predator.
Guaranteed to shut down awkward, competitive life situations with very little fuss. Bonus points - get him drunk enough, and you can nab his invisibility cloak and play the best practical jokes the world has ever seen.
Find AVP: Alien vs. Predator in On Demand > Movies > Virgin Movies
Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th,
On the surface, he’s a psychotic, murderous monster. But get him on side with a little Oedipal nagging, and he’s the ultimate bodyguard.
Getting bullied at school? Send Jason round to your nemesis’ house for a friendly warning. Those PPI calls just won’t stop badgering you when you’re at work? Jason will pop around to the call centre for a friendly but firm ’cease and desist’.
Friday The 13th is available now on Sky Cinema
Dracula (1931 - present day)
No matter the iteration, it’s hard to deny that Dracula wouldn’t be an interesting compatriot to have hanging around.
The one friend you can guarantee will be available whenever you fancy a late night party session, he’s got the ultimate country bolthole (castle weekend break FTW), and he’s also a great wingman (as long as you ensure you’re getting him to temper his particularly grope-y seduction powers in favour of his woosome charisma).