The only way to cook a lobster is by buying it alive. Be careful with the claws as they are very, very strong.

Place the lobster in a freezer for two hours - the freezer should have been set to -18°C - as this will render it unconscious. Bring a large pan of water to the boil and make sure that it's as salty as sea water - float a fresh egg on the surface prior to boiling to gauge this - and then add the lobster.

Bring this back to the boil and cook for 15 minutes for the first 1.5 lbs of the creature's weight, and add five minutes for every pound after that. Alternatively, par-boil for four minutes, then remove the lobster from the water, split it in half from head to tail with a very sharp knife (it will have been killed by the water), baste it with oil and grill for fifteen minutes, shell-side down.

Once it's cooked, simply split the creature in half (if you haven't already), remove and crack the claws and serve with lemon, mayonnaise, or Bearnaise sauce.