Learn to break to conversational patterns that always lead to an old argument rearing its ugly head. Take evasive action and change the subject as smoothly as you can - this will buy time until you are both prepared to talk in a constructive way.
Avoid knee-jerk reactions to things. You know how silly things seem after you've had time to really think about something? Try acting on a confrontation only once you've had time to consider all the sides to the story. You will have a much better chance of coming to a conclusion this way.
Family get-togethers can be a key time for arguing about unresolved matters. If you are seething about something and due to see the family, deal with it beforehand. If one particular relative has a reputation for being provocative, prepare in advance by telling yourself that it is not personal and determining to rise above it as best you can. Put aside private time to sort out your differences and agree that the troublesome subject will not be raised at that particular birthday party or anniversary celebration.
"Avoid knee-jerk reactions to things. You know how silly things seem after you've had time to really think about something? Try acting on a confrontation only once you've had time to consider all the sides to the story."
Another tip for avoiding tiffs its never to tackle controversial matters over the phone or email if you can help it. Body language and facial expression are vital clues as to when you are rubbing someone up the wrong way. Emails don't even have the indicator of tone of voice so everything is left to the recipients interpretation and is too easily misunderstood. Think of good communication as a flow - arguments happen when the flow is blocked.
If, despite all your best efforts, you have had an upsetting argument, contact that person as soon as possible to put things right - don't let so much time pass that the rift widens. If you still strongly feel that you were in the right, don't go over old ground. Say something simple and heartfelt such as: "I just had to get in touch - I hate it when we argue."
This should help set a much friendlier tone and will remind you both of why they are a loved one in the first place. Once you've said your sorrys and made acceptances, bury it. It's the only way to make progress in any relationship.
How do you avoid arguments? Share your tips here.
