Step 1: Repent

So, a group of well-balanced, reasonable folks (i.e. nutjobs) are claiming that the rapture is due on May 21st, 2011 - the end of the world is nigh. What to do? Easy: just do what the movies tell you...

Start off by reflecting on how you've treated Planet Earth like your own personal toilet bowl. If Mother Nature doesn't orchestrate her own eco-attack a la The Happening, then chances are an alien messenger like The Day The Earth Stood Still's Klaatu will touch down to deliver a lecture on tree-hugging, like an intergalactic member of Chumbawumba. Resist the temptation to shoot him.

• Need more pointers? Watch our apocalyptic movie collection online