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Oasis have a new member - Chris Sharrock, the former drummer in the band of that "fat dancer from Take That" aka Robbie Wiliams. With Robbie more preoccupied with UFO spotting these days you can hardly blame the chap.
The news comes days after it emerged Zac "son of Ringo" Starkey would no longer be tub thumper for the Britpop legends after falling out with Noel Gallagher. Having gone through more drummers than Manchester City have had managers in the last decade, Oasis are quickly emerging as the Spinal Tap of indie. Hopefully their next stage show will come complete with scaled down replica of the 'henge.---
Jay-Z has a street named after him, rapper Ludacris has a gym titled in his honour and in the Swiss ski resort of Verbier one of the chair lifts has been christened James Blunt. Few singers though can compete with rusty old folksterBiologist Jason Bond discovered a new species of trapdoor spider recently and opted to call the arachnid after his favourite musician, naming it Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi.
Somewhat incredibly, this isn't the first case of a bug being named after an aging rocker. Some years ago a new type of whirligig beetle was named the Orectochilus orbisonorum after Roy Orbison. How brilliant. I had some goldfish once called Salt and Pepa but that doesn't really count...
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Suggs in Heaven
The people of Heaven must have been in, well, heaven a few days ago when they got two 1980s icons for the price - two chaps previously known as Nutty Boys (Carl and Suggs of Madness) joined two chaps still known as The Pet Shop Boys onstage at the Can You Bear It? benefit show.
As if this wasn’t enough the newly formed quartet worked their way through a version of the Madness classic My Girl – given a fresh new pop sheen by Chris and some fully-refreshed dancing from Suggs. Thankfully someone caught the whole magical moment on a camera phone – make sure to look out for Neil Tennant giving Suggs some very subtle cues of when he should stop bouncing and start singing.
Watch it here
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Lennox for Mandela
Queen, Annie Lennox, Simple Minds and Eddy Grant are among the headliners of quite possibly the least thrilling big gig line-up ever. No, not Glastoldbury (see what I did there) – this is 46664. The concert celebrates Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday – 46664 being his old prison number, now the name of his AIDS charity and also the number of brave souls who will be allowed to attend the event on 27th June in London's Hyde Park. I think I've got to fix the bathroom taps that day, sorry. Hopefully no one will mention that Queen supported the homelands policy of the apartheid regime when they played Sun City during Mr Mandela's incarceration. Oops.
Other acts set to appear include Paul Young's Italian mate Zucchero, Dame Shirley Bassey, Johnny Clegg and in a brave move to include someone under 60, Razorlight. There's going to be some crazy Werther's Original snorting scenes backstage, that's for sure.
Who would you add to the bill?
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Blunt force trauma
Last summer, responding to grumbles that the crowd at Glastonbury Festival was getting too old, organiser, dairy farmer and Britain's top beard enthusiast Michael Eavis said he wanted to "encourage more youngsters". With ticket sales slow many waited with anticipation for the announcement of this year's Pyramid Stage line-up. It was officially announced yesterday.
So how is Mr Eavis bringing in those "youngsters"? The answer appears to be with Shakin' Stevens, Leonard Cohen, James Blunt and Gilbert O'Sullivan. Cohen and Blunt no doubt have a couple of fans under 60 but Shaky? No one had any interest as to what lurked behind his Green Door in the 80s, let alone 20 years after his sell-by date. As for Gilbert O'Sullivan – he had his last proper hit 35 years ago with Why Oh Why Oh Why. Why indeed?
What do you think of this year's Glasto line-up?
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New Coldplay album
A triple whammy of excitement for Coldplay fans today. Violet Hill, the first single from their snappily titled new album Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends, will be available for one week as a free download from their official website, www.coldplay.com. As if this wasn't enough there is also news of two free shows at Brixton Academy in London on 16th June and New York Madison Square Garden on 23rd June.
The last piece of the jigsaw is less thrilling – the cover artwork (http://coldplay.com/artwork.html) depicting a bloodied battle scene from the French revolution by Eugene Delacroix with a buxom lass marching over a pile of dead bodies. Reminds me of that time a paparazzi tried to take a picture of Chris Martin on his way out to Waitrose.
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Blonde ambition
Newly blonde Lily Allen has posted a couple of brand new tracks to her
MySpace page - http://www.myspace.com/lilymusic - and they're radically different to the springy ska-pop we've known her for to date. She's Little Miss Serious and grown-up now, it would appear, and if the track I Don't Know is anything to go by, struggling to cope with the downside of the fame game. To these ears it's a great move but have a listen and tell us what you reckon.
Lily Allen's new songs - your comments >>
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Pat Butcher?
In the run up to the release of new album Hard Candy Madonna has been announced as the headline attraction at Radio One's Big Weekend in Maidstone on 10th May - quite probably the most exciting thing to happen in Maidstone since Tom Baker was spotted in WH Smiths. The event - which also features The Enemy, The Kooks and Scouting For Girls - is free but getting hold of tickets is a complete lottery and you'll need to register here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/bigweekend/2008/ - before Monday 28th April. The Feeling, who support the 49 year-old Queen of Pop on the Saturday night, are so excited they're threatening to dress up as Madonna in various stages of her career as a tribute. A tasteful touch but hopefully they'll skip her current look.
Surely I can't be the only one who thinks Madonna's style on her new album cover is a bit too Albert Square. Yes, it's a bit pervy and all that, but the hair, the big pants, the ridiculous over-sized bling - it's all a bit Pat Butcher. Or maybe there are still people out there who find that kind of thing sexy - possibly after a few too many pints of Churchill maybe.
Your comments on Madonna's new look >>
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PJ Harvey - rocks
As a young Thom Yorke once told us - Anyone Can Play Guitar. According to a new report by the Institute of Education, however, that "anyone" is far more likely to be a boy than a girl. Of 5 to 16 year olds learning how to play electric guitar and bass, a staggering 81% are male - a bias that's almost as pronounced as the fact that 90% of harpists are ladies.
The gender split has led some commentators to expand on the theory of some mens' preference for oversized cars and speculate that there's some kind of sexual reason why instruments such as the guitar and tuba are popular with young men, while the piccolo is roundly ignored. Far more likely is the lack of female role models - an undeniable fact but a bizarre one considering how cool women look with a guitar. So, here's a quick survey then - who is the greatest female guitarist of all time?
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Quids in!
If watching Jay-Z and The Verve from a mile away while caked in mud doesn't appeal, or if the credit crunch means spending £164 on a ticket is a bit too, erm, crunchy you might like to consider an alternative to attending this year's Glastonbury Festival. Although distinctly lacking in naked hippies, stone circles and bearded farmers Glastonbudget does feature an all-star musical line-up. All-star except that they're tribute versions of the real thing so instead of Oasis, The Kaiser Chiefs and Amy Winehouse you can sing-a-long while being rained on to Oasish, Kaiser Thiefs, Maybe Winehouse and dozens of other poorly punned tribute acts (sadly Razorlike aren't on the bill).
The three day event which takes place in Wymesworld in Leicestershire between the 23rd and 25th May costs a wallet-pleasing £47.50 but is ruined slightly by the fact that the real - and surprisingly still alive - Bad Manners headline the final night. As a protest I'm not going, although I am sending a tribute version of myself instead.
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Alex Turner - puppet
Those thoughtful young gents from what many are labelling the best Arctic Monkeys side-project ever - Alex Turner and Miles Kane, aka The Last Shadow Puppets - have filmed four almost-acoustic versions of tracks from their much-anticipated new album. You can watch them all at www.theageoftheunderstatement.com, and marvel at the pair's fabulously identical hair, harmony skills and the most echo-laden guitar sound since Hank Marvin was a lad.
