Big Fat Lie
Should Bonnie Tyler win the Eurovision Song Contest, it would be one of the most remarkable rock comebacks of recent years.
The 61-year-old Tyler made her name in the early 80s bellowing shoulder-heaving, melodramatic mini-rock operas such as Total Eclipse Of The Heart, penned for her by Meat Loaf's songwriter and producer, Jim Steinman. Her fortunes fell after Steinman moved on but she has remained fairly big in Europe (especially Germany) for 30 years, which is presumably what led the BBC to select her for Eurovision.
Steinman's rumoured return for Rocks And Honey – Tyler's 16th album, and first in eight years – did not materialise, and so the Welsh trouper turns out more of her stock-in-trade; ballsy, attitude-heavy blues-rock numbers about love gone wrong and staying true to yourself. Plus, of course, power ballads; Crying and All I Ever Wanted are so overwrought and portentous that you can virtually hear the directors of their videos ordering in a job lot of soft-focus lenses and video machines.
There is nothing new; Tyler does what she does, and Rocks And Honey could have been recorded at any point between 1978 and now. Her Eurovision track, Believe In Me, is a likeable enough slice of Bon Jovi-esque soft rock bombast – but it is difficult not to fear she will finish a plucky 17th, just behind a comedy dance-pop troupe from Estonia.