Should Big Brother be evicted from TV for good?
Biggest brother ever, or biggest bother ever?
As Big Brother comes to the end of its first run on Channel 5, our two resident telly addicts almost come to blows while arguing: should it be kept on or killed off?
Big Brother: One for the intellectuals
Arguing for – Robyn Wilder
Well, thank goodness for Channel 5: it’s breathed new life into Big Brother. Because, let’s face it, Channel 4’s Big Brother was a bit, you know, Big Brotherly - there were too many rules, man. Housemates only had to say the word “nomination” and Big Brother marched them off to the diary room to frown silently at them while they fidgeted. And in 2010, Big Brother finally realised its creepy Orwellian potential when it locked Caiomhe in a room and played a continuous loop of Ben and Shabby talking about her until she curled into a foetal position and started drooling.
Channel 5 is a far more laidback host. You can do what you want on Channel 5’s Big Brother - discuss nominations, wrestle your sister, entirely fail to sweep female housemates off their feet by building a sleazy love fort out of cushions, jump up and down on loads of bananas, blandly pick your spots while naming different types of fabric softener at each other, actually be Jedward…it’s great.
And, crucially, Channel 5 doesn’t let the grass grow under its feet. Regular Big Brother started virtually minutes after Celebrity Big Brother ended, and now Celebrity Big Brother’s coming around again. And it’ll probably coincide with the end of X Factor, so there’s a very real possibility that we could see Frankie Cocozza and Wagner in the same room. In the same SAUNA. Oh, it’ll be like Christmas. Especially since it’ll actually be Christmas.
So hooray for Big Brother. You had me at Jedward.
Arguing against – Stuart Heritage
Oh Big Brother, why won’t you just die? You’ve had plenty of chances. You could have gone out on a high note after the first series, when Craig gave all his winnings to that girl with Down’s Syndrome, but you didn’t. You could have stopped after Channel Four - which has standards so low that it used to broadcast Kabaddi, for god’s sake - decided that enough was enough. But you didn’t. And you could stop on Friday, when this year’s winner will be finally revealed to a largely uncaring populace.
But you won’t, will you? Because there’s a new Celebrity Big Brother scheduled for January. That’s right. We’ve got about six weeks off and then it’s straight back on the treadmill again. And the law of diminishing returns means that the celebrities will be even worse than the last lot. Even worse than that bloke off the Gypsy show. Even worse than that woman who used to be married to David Hasselhoff. Even worse than Katona. I know. I’m scared too.
Wouldn’t it be better if Big Brother just, you know, went away? I’m sure nobody would mind. The housemates, who have to spend three months inside a filthy box with a load of idiots, won’t mind. The viewers, who know that removing Big Brother from the schedules will free things up to allow even more room for soft porn and documentaries about lorries, won’t mind. The narrator, who must surely entertain dark thoughts of self-harm every time he has to intone “YEW DISOIDE”, won’t mind. It’s in everybody’s best interest. Let’s kill Big Brother now, while it’s still worth killing.
Whose side are you on? Is Big Brother still worth watching, or is it just like watching static now? Let us know by heading over to our Facebook page or Twitter feed (@TVOnVM) to let us know!
The live final of Big Brother is on Friday 11th November at 9pm on Channel 5.
