Swipe left on dating scams: how to spot romance fraud

It might begin with a friendly message or a match on a dating app. As the conversation grows, so does the connection. They're charming, attentive and always seem to know exactly what to say. But the person behind the profile may not be who they claim to be.

Romance fraud or dating scams involve criminals creating fake online identities to gain your trust and build what appears to be a genuine relationship. Unlike catfishing, which is often motivated by deception alone, romance scams are designed to manipulate victims into handing over money or sharing sensitive personal information.

In the UK, Action Fraud reported over 40,000 romance fraud cases between 2020 and 2024, with victims losing an average of £10,000 each. However, many scams go unreported, meaning the true scale is likely to be much higher.

Here's what you need to know about romance scams, including the warning signs to look out for and how to protect yourself and your loved ones online.

Dating scams rarely happen overnight. Instead, fraudsters spend time building trust and creating what feels like a genuine relationship.

They'll often spend weeks or even months building an emotional connection before making their move. This tactic, known as love bombing, is designed to make you feel valued and secure. Once they've earned your trust, they'll claim they need money for an emergency, travel costs, medical bills or another urgent situation.

Romance scammers don't discriminate. Rather than targeting a specific age group, they look for people they believe they can build a relationship with and, ultimately, manipulate.

While older adults and people who have experienced a recent divorce or bereavement are often seen as particularly vulnerable, younger people using dating apps and social media are increasingly being targeted too. That's why staying alert to the warning signs is important, regardless of your age or online experience.

Romance scammers are skilled at making their victims feel safe, valued and understood. But no matter how convincing they seem, there are usually warning signs that something isn't quite right. Here are some of the red flags to watch out for:

They avoid video calls or meeting in person

Scammers will often find excuses for why they can't meet or even chat on video. They might claim they're working overseas, have poor internet or are dealing with a family emergency. If someone always has a reason to avoid seeing you face to face, it's worth asking why.

The relationship moves incredibly fast

One of the biggest red flags is when someone becomes intensely affectionate very quickly. They may shower you with compliments, tell you they've never felt this way before or even say they love you after only a short time. This tactic, known as love bombing, is designed to build an emotional connection and make you more likely to trust them.

Their story keeps changing

Scammers often create elaborate backstories to explain why they can't meet or why they need your help. They may claim to be serving in the military, working on an oil rig or employed as a healthcare professional abroad. If details change over time or parts of their story don't quite add up, trust your instincts.

They ask for money

This is one of the clearest warning signs. The request might start small, but scammers often invent emergencies such as medical bills, travel costs or legal fees to persuade you to send money. They may also ask you to buy gift cards or transfer funds on someone else's behalf. Whatever the reason, someone you've never met should never be asking you for financial help.

They pressure you to move the conversation

Many scammers will encourage you to leave the dating app and continue chatting on WhatsApp, Telegram or another messaging service. While there's nothing wrong with moving a genuine conversation elsewhere, be cautious if someone is pushing you to do it almost immediately, especially if they've only just matched with you.

Their messages feel unusual

Poor spelling or grammar on its own doesn't mean someone is a scammer. However, awkward phrasing, inconsistent writing styles or messages that seem generic or copied-and-pasted can be warning signs, particularly when combined with other suspicious behaviour.

If something doesn't feel right, don't ignore it. Even a single warning sign – especially a request for money or repeated excuses for avoiding video calls – is enough to pause, ask questions and think carefully before continuing the relationship.

While romance scams can be highly sophisticated, there are simple ways to reduce your risk. Taking a few sensible precautions can make it much harder for scammers to gain your trust or access your personal information.

One of the easiest ways to always cautious about the information you share. Avoid giving out personal details such as your home address, workplace or financial information until you've met in person and feel confident the person is who they say they are. The less information a scammer has, the harder it is for them to manipulate you.

If someone you've met online asks for money, treat it as a major warning sign. Whether they claim to need help with travel expenses, medical bills or another emergency, genuine relationships shouldn't involve requests for cash, gift cards or cryptocurrency from someone you've never met.

When in doubt, talk to someone you trust. It can be difficult to recognise the warning signs when you're emotionally invested, but a friend or family member may spot inconsistencies or red flags that you've overlooked.

Romance scams often rely on more than just emotional manipulation. Scammers may ask you to click suspicious links, visit fake websites or hand over personal information as part of their scheme.

That's why it's important to combine good judgement with the right online protection. If you're a Virgin Media broadband customer, Essential Security is included at no extra cost and helps protect you from phishing websites and other malicious online threats.

Looking for extra protection? Advanced Security helps you keep your devices protected wherever you are, blocking phishing links, SMS scams and malicious websites using AI-powered protection, whether you’re connected to your home WiFi or using mobile data. Advanced Security is available with a three-month free trial, then costs £3.50 a month or £35 a year.

While it can't stop someone pretending to be a potential partner, it can help keep your devices and personal information safer if a scammer tries to direct you to a fraudulent website.