If, like us, you enjoy adding an element of danger to your living room, Africa’s Deadliest is the programme for you…
Africa’s Deadliest, Monday 13 January, 8pm, National Geographic WILD/HD (CH 264/265). Also available for 30 days in Catch Up > Channels > National Geographic
Over four series packed with more grass-dwelling danger than you can shake an unsuspecting tail at, Africa’s Deadliest has had us laughing, crying, wincing, hiding behind cushions and “awwwww”-ing ourselves into cuteness-induced comas.
And now it’s back for a fifth season that promises slithery, venom-spitting snakes, dogs, mongooses (which are far scarier than they seem), baboons, sharks, lions (obvs) and their pesky nemeses hyenas.
Intrigued, terrified and everything in between? Then keep scrolling down the page to meet the cast of characters set to prowl through your living room over the coming weeks…
“Two chicken mayos and a cheeseburger please, mate.”
Sure, it may look like it’s perusing the menu of a fast food chain at an hour it’s reticent to reveal to its mother – but this cobra will have you for breakfast.
Well, maybe not all of you. But quite a lot. To add salt to the wound(s), it’ll even spit venom in your face and incapacitate you before it does so. Rude.
Has to be seen to be be-leafed… we’ll see ourselves out
This one at least has the courtesy to literally try and blend into the background. Or, in this case, the leafy undergrowth. Impressive? Sure. Terrifying? Absolutely.
In other words, this is the snake that rocks up to the annual African Snake Jamboree way too early, blends into the walls until someone else turns up – then, too nervous to speak to anyone, goes home and subtweets about its struggles to be noticed.
“Huh. Tastes like a rock.”
Why this one likes licking rocks, we’re not too sure, but we are sure that the show will clear it up.
Our guess is it went to Blackpool one time and is pining for the taste of the rock’s sugary, minty namesake.
The menacing mongoose
The above snap may make it look as though they spend all day laying on dusty mounds in the shade, but it’s a classic case of “saying ʼnowt, thinking plenty” with this lot.
Look closely at their faces. They’re plotting something. No, really – look. You can see it in their black, beady little eyes. We know your game, mongooses – we know your game.
Literally nobody’s favourite animal. At all
We’re going to say it – we hate hyenas. They’re always lurking in the shadows, waiting to eat something or tear it to shreds. Oh, and one cut us up on the ring road the other week. Didn’t even flash its hazards to say sorry.
Little do they know, but that poor baboon they're chomping on was a staunch campaigner for the No Really, Everyone, Hyenas Aren’t As Bad As Everyone Says They Are Associaion. So they’ve mugged themselves right off in eating him, really.
See? They’ve gone and scarred this poor lad for life.
That said, the above baboon features in an episode titled “Fangs That Kill”, so they’re probably not without fault themselves.
“Fine... what did you study at university?” “ART! ART! ART!”
From the bared teeth and fangs, we’re guessing the sea lion on the right’s gag didn’t go down too well. Ah well, at least it can spend the rest of its day sunning its rolls on the rocks and taking the odd dip in the ocean to grab a bite to eat… right? Right?
The morning commute had extra bite
With this lot scouring the African coastlines. True, they seem to prefer chowing down on shoals of fish and the odd shaggy-haired surfer, but come on – they’re sharks. If it’s meaty and looks like it’ll taste nice, they’ll eat it.
When is Africaʼs Deadliest on TV?
Catch Africa’s Deadliest, Monday 13 January, 8pm, National Geographic WILD/HD (CH 263/264). Also available for 30 days in Catch Up > Channels > National Geographic
TV channels: Channels, content and features available depend on your chosen package. Channel line-ups and content are subject to change at any time and to regional variations.
HD: HD TV set, V HD Box, TiVo box or Virgin TV V6 connected with HDMI cables required for HD channels. Number of inclusive HD channels depends on package.
Image credits: Africa's Deadliest © National Geographic