As the panel show returns for series 3, it could teach us a thing or two about how to make Zoom quizzes fun again
By Laura Rutkowski, Staff Writer
“Hypothetically speaking…” We’ve all known a conversation that starts this way, usually among couples, who follow it up with, “… would you still love me if…?” There are no right answers to hypothetical questions, yet somehow some answers are more right than others (that don’t lead to your partner giving you the cold shoulder). The answer is always “yes,” by the way – with no hesitation!
The premise of Dave’s Hypothetical poses exactly these types of questions, only they’re weirder and wackier and pretty hard to answer! Josh Widdicombe and James Acaster pit two teams of comedians against each other as they face-off on fictional situations.
We’ll let you ponder that one over a packet of crisps
They then have to act some of the scenarios out on the spot, with an impressive number of random props. They’re scored on how well they would deal with them across four rounds. In the first episode, Suzi Ruffell, Tom Allen, Sophie Duker and Desiree Burch are put in the hot seat and asked, “What would you do?”
If you type “hypothetical questions” into Google, a mass of search results will come back, as clearly they’re fun to insert into any chat! We can guarantee they won’t be as mind-puzzling or condition-laden as the ones on Hypothetical, so if you’re looking to seriously amp up your Zoom game, we’ve compiled 25 of the best from the show. Simply copy/paste (and take full credit for the creativity if you like – we won’t tell)…
1. You have 24 hours to make yourself the “And finally…” story on tomorrow’s 6 o’clock news. What do you do?
2. You have to live in a motorway services for a year. How do you cope?
3. You must get Lorraine Kelly to break your arm. First one to do it wins. Loser gets their legs broken by Eamonn Holmes.
You can’t just jump out and get a glancing blow off her car. You cannot bribe her.
4. You have to take a selfie with Nicolas Cage within 48 hours or you die. How do you do it?
5. You’ve been booked for the Royal Variety Performance with an hour to spare, but you can’t do comedy. What do you do?
6. You must create a brand-new character to save EastEnders. What do you do?
7. You must persuade the Friends cast to reunite and film one more episode. You have access to the old sets, and Gunther. They have to let you write the episode. You can’t pay them. They have to do it because they believe in the project. You also have to convince them to let you play the role of Monica.
8. How much to wear a puppet of yourself on your hand for a year?
The puppet must say one thing in every conversation you have. The puppet must have a different voice to you. It must be on your hand at all times, you can’t cover it up. You can’t tell anyone what you’re doing, and neither can the puppet.
9. How much to never use a bag again?
10. How much to carry three eggs in each hand for a year? The eggs are uncooked and are fresh out of the coop. Anytime you drop an egg, before you do anything else, you must immediately replace it. If you drop more than three eggs in one day, it’s game over.
11. How much to give up tables and chairs for a year?
12. You must ghost-write June Brown’s autobiography with limited preparation. How do you do it?
The book must be the standard autobiography length of 250 pages and is due in one week. June is only willing to do a one-minute phone interview with you. The good news is the publishers have given you a cottage to write in. The bad news is there’s no internet or 3G, so you won’t be able to do any research.
13. How much to dress as the Grim Reaper for a year? You must be wearing full Grim Reaper garb at all times, with the hood and scythe. You can’t tell people the real reason you’re doing this. You don’t have the power to end anyone’s life.
14. If you had to have one of these phrases as your email signature for a year, which would you choose?
A) 20 turd emojis
B) Your credit card details
C) Belieber 4 eva
15. You are sent back to Victorian London. To return, you must make the most money. How do you do it?
You are dressed appropriately and have enough money for food and lodgings for one month. You can’t take any items back with you from the modern day. And you’ve been transported to the year 1852 – one year after the invention of ice creams.
16. You have to choose a new flatmate to live with for a year. Who do you pick?
A) You, aged 5
B) You, aged 17
C) You, aged 80
17. Would you prefer to…
A) Accidentally give the England team food poisoning the night before the World Cup Final
B) Give Adele laryngitis the night before her farewell gig
C) Knock over Stonehenge by mistake
18. You have to write the story for a musical based around the songs of S Club 7. You need to devise a compelling plot. It must include the songs “S Club Party,” “Bring It All Back,” “Don’t Stop Movin’,” “Never Had A Dream Come True” and “Reach.”
19. You must stage a fun-filled and romantic date with the man/woman of your dreams without spending any money. What do you do?
You must dine, do two activities, give them a gift and get them home. You can’t let them know you’ve got no money, or mention cryptocurrency. You must secure a second date.
20. You have to get a 150-foot bronze statue of Matt Baker erected in your hometown. What do you do?
21. You must convince the world you are Banksy. How do you do it?
22. You must invent a new James Bond villain.
Your villain must have a name, a distinctive look, an original backstory, a lair and their own unique way of killing people. And they must be played by you.
23. You have to start rival cults. Whoever has the most followers at the end of the first week wins. Whoever has the least loses their place on the spaceship back up to heaven.
24. You have been sent back in time to Dallas, 21 November 1963, the day before JFK was killed. You must prevent the assassination. What do you do? You must survive. You are a cat.
25. You have a month to get a lift from a member of the Royal family. How do you do it?
When is Dave’s Hypothetical on TV?
Series 3 of Hypothetical airs on Dave/HD (CH 127/227) on Wednesdays at 10pm, with the first episode screening on February 10th. It is also available for 30 days in Catch Up > Channels > Dave.
The eight-part series will subsequently air every week until Wednesday 31st March.
TV channels: Channels, content and features available depend on your chosen package. Channel line-ups and content are subject to change at any time and to regional variations.
HD: HD TV set, V HD Box, TiVo box or Virgin TV V6 connected with HDMI cables required for HD channels. Number of inclusive HD channels depends on package.
Catch Up TV: Catch Up TV content available for up to 7 days or up to 30 days after broadcast, depending on content
Image credits: Hypothetical @ UKTV / Ellis O'Brien